July 9, 2026
307: The Three Things Keeping You Average
EPISODE DESCRIPTION
In this episode, I break down three core obstacles holding mortgage brokers back - distraction, lack of discipline, and giving away your power to other people and worrying about things you can't control - and how you can overcome them to build the business you've always wanted.
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00:00:06 Ryan Wiley
Welcome to the mortgage game. I truly, truly believe that building a mortgage business, a successful one is like playing a game. There's winners, there's losers. There's certain things you try. Some of us are playing checkers while others are playing chess. I've had the ability to coach and mentor hundreds of mortgage brokers. I myself built a very nice business. So now I want to distill all that information, all the things I've learned from that and bring it directly to you in a simple to understand way. I hope you enjoy.
00:00:38 Ryan Wiley
All right. Welcome to the Mortgage Game Podcast. West Coast Wiley here. Coming to you live from the Dodge Ram studio. Once again, those who don't know, maybe you're just starting to listen to this podcast, but I don't know, we're in episode 300 and something. 302, 303, something like that. 98 % of the podcasts have been reported in a Dodge Ram. So for those of you thinking, I want to start a podcast or I want to get on social media, but I need like this camera. I need this fancy stuff. I need like a whole day to do it. I need an editing crew and I need, I need a podcast studio and I need a fancy microphone. I'm like, sure, you could do that. Or you could just use a headset that's eight years old like me and just record in your vehicle and just tell people because it's, you're adding value. It doesn't matter what you're doing in life. how you get it across. If you're just adding value, it comes through that way and you're going to win. So keep that in mind with what you're doing, right? There's a lot of people who don't add value, but jazz it up with all the other stuff. And then eventually the jig's up and everyone's like, yeah, it's the same old fucking shit. And that person's really not who I thought they were. And this is mass produced and it's like a reality show. And then all of a sudden you're like, but it's just to get clicks. But they've accomplished their mission. was a bamboozle a bunch of people. Whereas this is pretty raw and how I want all the stuff I do to be pretty raw and authentic. And I think moving forward, authenticity wins even more so now. And as AI keeps coming in, you'll be listening to people you don't even realize are fake people. You're probably already doing that. You're probably already following people on social that are fake people that are like avatars. And that's just going to be the world. So the more you can let... people feel like they're talking to a real person, it's your real thoughts and opinions on stuff, the better off you're going to be. So this is me just kind of giving you the nudge and going, hey, I know some of you have your own podcast and this was the inspiration for it. You let me know that and that's phenomenal. I know some of you have been down the social media journey and you're like, it doesn't have to be this big thing. Just get it going. Get it going and don't wait till Monday. Get it done today. Like, why not now? Why not today? Why not in the next hour? Why not? Like, what are you really doing in the next hour that's so important? Stopping you from the thing you know you really need to go do. Especially if you get leverage from it. Okay, that's not what today's podcast is about. But I just wanted to give people the props out of start stuff that they, you know, they're worried that someone's gonna make fun of them. You're giving too much control to other people and their opinions and how it impacts you and your family's life. So there's three things we're gonna talk about today. And if you get these three things right, even if you just get one of them right, it's gonna have a massive impact on your life. Personally, business wise, you'll have more of the things you want. And I'm not just saying like material things. I'm saying like relationships and health and happiness and all that stuff. And it's number one, no specific order distractions. Most of you are just overly distracted on so many things. We're going to talk about that. Next thing is discipline. What that actually means with some examples. And then the last is just. giving away your power to other people, other people's opinions, and basically worrying too much about stuff you can't control. So we're going to talk about those three things, okay? I promise you'll get value from this, but before we do that, and if you're a first -time listener or pretty close, I do have sponsorship for this podcast, so I have to give them their props. So today's podcast is sponsored by Americana.
00:04:15 Ryan Wiley
And then you have to listen to me drink the Americana. That's part of the gig. It's part of the sponsorship deal. I signed it a long time ago. I can't get out of the contracts. You know, these contracts I hate. This is one I signed. I was sugar, among others. Okay, let's get into it. So distraction.
00:04:31 Ryan Wiley
It is very, very, very obvious to me that a lot of you, you already know, and I'm going to keep this in the context of Mortgage World because it's the Mortgage Game podcast, but you can take this and push it into other areas for sure. But all of you know, we all know what we need to do. When I get on coaching calls with people, Like the first thing I do is I map out and I go, okay, what would it take to do this? And what would it take? Okay, so you want to increase your revenue from 100K to 200K. What would that take? What would you have to do to do that that you aren't doing now? And we map it all out. They end up mapping out a business plan. And I'm just guiding them and asking the same questions, but I'm usually just asking, what would it take? And I go, I'm going to say, hey, I'm going to ask this like 20 times. Like, what would it take for this to happen for this? Okay, you need more leads. So what would it take for you to get more leads? gun to your head, where would you go get, if you needed to get 50 leads in 30 days, where would you go? Oh, well, I'd talk to people I know. Okay. And then I would talk to some, okay, sounds good. And I start calling people. Okay. And so what would it take for you to actually do that, to remind yourself to do that? Well, I'd put it in the calendar. I'm like, okay, now we're writing this down. And then like, what would it take for you to actually show up? and do that work? And what would you say when you reached out? And like when I just start asking these questions and you think about it, the plan comes. So we all know what we need to do. There's only so many things in this mortgage business. There's a lot of shiny shit out there. And most of it doesn't impact your business nearly as much as you think. And when you get back to basics, like my goal is to just build a boring mortgage team. And when I say that, I don't mean boring people because it's quite the opposite in a very, very, very good way. It's not that. It is we just want to talk about boring things all the time. We sprinkle in the shiny stuff 100%. If we think it's going to have an impact, we will. And we think our shiny things, I don't even want to call them that anymore because they're turning into foundational pieces. But they're way better than what anyone else is doing. But the basics of your prospecting. Building a brand, your email marketing, your referral partner relationships, your database mining. Like when we talk about that stuff, it's always the same thing. And it's more about why aren't we doing it? And a lot of it comes down to I'm distracted. It's like it shows up in the calendar and then I don't do it. It's like, OK, so I did this many years ago and it changed my mortgage business. It really did when I actually like reverse engineer it back. And I'm like such a subtle moves I made that there was a big ripple effect on my business. And a lot of it was because I was distracted. So I had to remove the distractions. And I had to set myself up to win. And simple, simple things. Whereas when I know I have a money -making task in the calendar and it's bright green. And I believe this is what I need to do to change my business and change the trajectory of my family's lives. So it's fucking idiotic of me to not do it. I'm just going to do it over and over and over again. I'm never going to stop, so I'm always going to win. But I removed the distraction. So I did this. I get my phone goes upside down, goes on do not. And my phone's always on do not disturb, by the way. FYI, I'm going to go down that path right now and explain that. You call me, even when I was running my mortgage business, you call me, I can't get through. It's like, what if I was waiting for, there's no call that is so important that I need to break my money -making task where I get leverage from and access to, it opens other doors with access to leverage and bigger relationships and more things to build 20 deals. Instead of focusing on this one, I'm not ignoring it, but I'm going to get to it when I'm done my thing. I'll go and check my missed calls, my messages. All my voicemails go to text and I respond. How's it going? What's going on? Okay. Yes, I can help. Can't book today. Give me your email. Send you an email within one hour and you book a call. Not today, only tomorrow. You can't get access to me today. That's for new leads. Current files, appraiser calling, all that. Guess what? I called them back. And guess what? They pick up the phone or they don't and then they call me back. And then guess what? But it's like, I'm not going to jump in because that's not as important that one file to make $5 ,000. Important in disrupting my daily habits of the foundational pieces in my business. So like, I don't know when people are texting me. I don't know when apps are giving me notifications. They're all turned off. I don't know when I'm getting phone calls. They're all turned off. I've had it this way for. It's got to be nine years, eight, nine years, and it's glorious. Guess what? I'm not, I don't want to say a slave to my phone, probably a better word for that, but I'm not sitting here just going, oh my God, oh my God, and I'll react, react, like a little kid with the dopamine hand, and oh, got to get back, oh, got to get back, got to get, I get back to people. I get back to them. Obviously, there's always exceptions to rules. If there's one -off things here and there that I know are extremely important for X, Y, and Z reason. So I'm waiting on the call from a doctor for a test result. Okay, I'll turn my do not disturb off for the day. If I'm waiting on blah, blah, blah, you determine that. You're an adult, you determine that. But I take that away so now people can't distract me. So now I can't negotiate with myself when it comes to doing the money -making tasks in my calendar. I remove the distractions. The lights go off in my office. If I'm in a build day, if I'm working on mining my database, like I would go into my office for... Five, six hours at a time. Lights shut off. There'd be like lunch showing up at the door. It's like, knock, knock. Here we go, honey. Okay. Here you go. Do you need anything? No. Do you need water? No. Okay. Boom. Leave me alone. Like in the nicest way. The kids leave alone. The dogs leave alone. Don't have any responsibility. I'm here to mine the database because the lead pipeline is dry. So I need to fill it up. And the only way I'm going to do that is by attacking the database and making calls and texts and emails and just doing that until the lead pipeline is so full. Because there's nothing else in my world that I could do that's as important as that. Nothing else in my business world. So don't check the email.
00:11:05 Ryan Wiley
check the email. That goes off. Don't care what I'm waiting on. Don't look at that. If you get distracted with apps on your phone, take the apps off your phone. If you get distracted with your phone, put your phone in one of those boxes where it locks. Come on. Come on. How old are we? What are we doing here? Are you in a fucking adult or are you a kid? Like, what are you doing? I get you're like, I'm so distracted. I can't keep focus. Then split the script. You control the rules of the game. But you're playing in other people's games by their rules. And these multi -trillion dollar companies like Instagram and Facebook, like their job is to keep you distracted. That's how they make their money. That's how you lose your money. So what the F? So distractions. Number one, if you can't keep yourself not distracted and do the things in your calendar because you deem that they're that important and they start building on all these pieces of your prospecting, your referral partners, your database mining, and like your number one problem is leads and this is what's going to solve your number one problem in your business, which is going to help feed your family and change your quality of life, then grow the fuck up. and do it, leads me to my number two point, which is discipline. The next thing, I don't know which one we're lacking more, is where we get distracted, so we need focus, or if it's discipline, they probably go hand in hand. But discipline, I see a lot of just undisciplined people. And the definition of discipline, if I had to, I didn't look it up, but if I had to, my definition of it, is doing things you don't want to do every day over and over again. You going on bike rides every day is not being disciplined because that's stuff you like doing,
00:12:50 Ryan Wiley
on bike rides every day is not being disciplined because that's stuff you like doing, right? You making healthy meals for yourself.
00:13:00 Ryan Wiley
healthy meals for yourself. Well, if you like prepping meals and you like cooking and you like the recipe and searching, you like all that, that's not being disciplined. That's just you doing stuff you like over and over again that benefits you and your body. It's the other stuff, the stuff you don't want to do, the stuff that will change your life. If you don't like starting conversations with people, why question if you're in the right business? But then I get back to get over it. You need to do it. Stay disciplined. So go do that 10 times a day. for the rest of your life, your life, like your bank account, because that's how we measure. I sound cold when I say this. I'm not trying to be. Obviously, your mortgage business gives you freedom and it gives you the ability to move anywhere you want, work anywhere you want, spend more time. But a lot of you are missing the mark on that. You're not taking advantage of that part because you don't have the actual business built, but you keep hanging your hat on quality of life, work -life balance. I can work from the beach. Well, are you? Because you have your fucking laptop open. okay, the fact that you travel and you can work, cool, but are you actually like present with the people you went with? Right? So you talk about it, but you're not backing it up. You're not taking full advantage of what we do for a living. Because if you did, sure, you can work at the beach with your laptop, but then you can also take six weeks off at the beach with no laptop. And if you're like, I don't even understand that world, Ryan, okay, because you're just not there. There's levels to this game and you're just on that level. you're still at one of the beginner levels. You're on the hamster wheel level. You're trying to figure it out. And so staying disciplined on those things, if you just sat there and outlined what are the things I know I need to do in my business and then put a part two to that and part B to that and you went, I don't like doing these things. I don't like social media, but I know I need it. So what do I do? I just now do it because I don't like doing that. And you can just be like that, like a kid and storm out of the room. Like, I don't want to do this. Why don't you want to do it? It'll change your life. You'll make the $400 ,000 you said you wanted to make, but you obviously don't because you don't want to do the work. You want to go do these things. You want your family to move in this house and you want to be able to travel and do this and you want to save up money for that. But, oh, dad doesn't want to like talk to 10 people every day. Like, oh, poor baby. Like, well, fuck. Okay. Then what's your plan? And you don't want to go on social media. Cool. You don't have to. Then what's the plan? What's the plan for three years from now? Right? Everything you do right now should be towards building your business three years from now. There's a broker on my team who did $5 million in her first year and hustled her fucking way through it and got there with all the reasons not to. And some of you might be like, $5 million, that's good. And other people might be like, that's not great. If you know the situation, it's phenomenal. And guess what? She's already hired fulfillment. What? How did it? Yeah, because they get paid when you get paid. And she's building the business she wants three years from now. So she realizes she has to do that so that she can go and focus her time and energy on the money -making tasks, which, right, like she's thinking big. And a lot of you are still stuck in this first. couple year in the industry thing and you're not thinking long term and you're just going to be on this hamster wheel forever. So the discipline part, my definition once again, but this podcast is brought to you by Americana.
00:16:46 Ryan Wiley
Once again is doing things you do not want to do over and over again. When you don't want to do them. I feel tired today. Man. Mom or dad's going to go, I'm not working today. I'll do 20 opens tomorrow instead of 10 today and 10 tomorrow. Because I'm tired and I don't do things when I'm tired. I'm depressed today. I'm fucking doing depressed. Like,
00:17:14 Ryan Wiley
I'm scared of what people are going to say. Do it anyway. Do it anyway. You know, I ate a jalapeno chicken burger. Don't know what that is, but I ate that. And I have indigestion. So I can't do my email marketing today. Like, what the fuck? Like, it's so crazy to me. Even just saying it out loud. I'm like, oh, my God. Grow up. And like someone else said, told me and it just hit me. She's like, it's the job. It's the job. So be disciplined. You can be disciplined. And once again, it's not things you want to do. Kudos to you if you do those. That's kind of like, hey, you're being consistent. Good for you. But being disciplined is doing the shit you don't want to do. There's a ton of shit that I do every single day that I do not want to do. But I do it. And it's dumb little things and it's bigger things. And I just do it. And the ones who are the most successful around me are the most disciplined. Without a doubt. Not even close. And so I learned that early on. And I'm going to do the things others don't want to do. And that's just going to help me get where I want to go before anyone else. Because I will do those things. And other people just get lazy. They get tired. They don't want to wake up early. They don't want to stay up late. They get like all the excuses creeping. Like, oh, having a bad day today. And they let their business creep in. They go, oh, I have deals blowing up everywhere. So I can't do that. It's like. What? You have single deals blowing up? Like, you'll get to it. And don't let that ruin your day. And then you let that ruin your debt. Stuff you could not control is now creeped in and impacted the way you run a business. So it leads me to my other point, like, stop worrying about stuff you can't control. And this happens a lot. And this is a big mindset play. And it's why I've just, you know, I'm not on X anymore. We spend a lot of time on our... phone in our feeds. So controlling the narrative on your feed is super important. If there's any negativity in the mortgage business or not, I remove it. I block, say, don't fucking ever show me this again. If there's wars going, don't care. Not that I don't care. I get it. Bad example, but I just don't need to know about it. How am I better off? If I'm using it as perspective for my own life, Different story, but most of us don't. We say that like a cliche line. Oh, it gives you perspective, right? People getting bombed while they're out for lunch gives you, but then you fucking carry on your day and nothing changes. So don't give me that bullshit that helps there. It's more, I just remove all the negativity, the politics, what's going on with the economy, what's going on in the world. And if some of you are like, yeah, but I want to know. Okay, cool. That's a hobby. That's great. And you get to know, but at what cost? Is it costing you emotional real estate? Is it then seeping into your business or your personal life? Because it's changing your mind, the state that your mind is in at that time, which then now you're using as excuses to not do the things and stay disciplined. Like, this is a thing you need to understand. So my feed is like, when you go into whatever app you want to go into, it's cooking shows, it's... stand -up comedy, there's puppies in there, there's sports, motivation, all that. All the other shit, all the negative people. You say something negative on my social, blocked. I block so many people because there's fucking idiots out there. Just get rid of it. I don't even think about it. I just go, oh, okay, well, yeah, blocked. Thank you. You just let me know. Your color is a block. Like, it's not even like, I'm in a debate with you now. It's like, why? Where am I winning here? How are my kids winning here? How am I like, is that helping my stress levels? Is it lowering my blood pressure, increasing my blood pressure? Do I like how I feel? Do I not? Like I've removed all the outside negativity on things. And so when I go into my day, now think about this. My phone can't get to me until I get to it. It's on do not disturb. I don't look at it half the time. Can't get to me there. Then if I do go into a social something somewhere, it's all positivity. So you can't get to me there. And I'm constantly blocking and fine -tuning things. And I don't really watch TV. And when I do, I just watch TV shows. Or I watch cooking shows. That's what I like to do. And so you can't get to me there. I'm not watching the news. I'm not like, I don't know. People are like, hey, did you hear about the thing? The earthquake in Venezuela? I'm like, no. Then I went and researched it. I was like, oh my God, that's fucking horrible. And I read for it. And then I was like, man, like, Godspeed. I hope stuff happens. And I went back into protection mode.
00:22:21 SPEAKER_01
And I shut it down.
00:22:22 Ryan Wiley
it down. And I got out. Didn't have a clue. People ask me all the time, what, did you hear about that? I'm like, no. Did you hear about the family that, the boating accident off of BC? Once again, I went and looked that up. The one that capsized and six people died just the other day. I'm like, no. So I went and looked it up. Gave it the due respect it had. I can't change anything. And then I got out and I went back into protection mode. But I don't know these things because the things that happen, they're not like, and are there glorious stories out there I'm depriving myself of? Probably. But it's okay. I made a judgment call on that. I can't control these things. I can't control how my clients react. I can't control how the lenders are going to react. I can't control. So when they come back with answers I don't like, it's kind of like, okay, now what? Right? It's not, let's fucking bitch about it. And then let's complain how much they suck. And let's say no one's getting back to me. It's just like, what's the solution? Like, I'm only about this solution. Not 1 % of me wants to sit here and complain because I can't change a fucking thing. And it's something we talk about with our kids all the time. All the time. And you know, you have a swear jar. We have a complaint jar. So you make a complaint. Money goes in the complaint jar. Anybody. And we use it on a family vacation. But it's that. No complaining allowed. This is a complain -free zone. Nobody benefits from it. So shut that shit down. Get your head straight. Get it back in the game and focus on the things that move the needle. Everything else is just noise. And the world is very good at putting noise in front of you, distractions, trying to tear you down instead of building you up. And it's people in your own circle. Cut them out. The distractions out. And the better you can do this, the better you can stop worrying about what everyone is thinking and saying and what's going on in the world and all those things and focus on you and just you. And a lot of you use it as distractions. You go down this path and it's because it's others people thing and you like create drama and you get in the world. And now you all of a sudden, I got busy and it's just the day got away from me. And it's like, fuck that. Why didn't you get the thing done? But you said. And your plan was so important and was going to take you to the promised land and build the business that you stay up at night thinking about. And your spouse and your family are relying on you to go do the thing and you know what the thing is, but you're spending your time over here with shit that does not matter. I'm going to wrap this up here shortly. Don't forget, like, and I remind myself last time, like, we're all going to be dead. And this is very, like... Hey, thanks for, oh, really, Ryan? Really? Yeah. You're all going to die. And Steve Jobs had a great quote and is one of my favorites and I'll paraphrase it, but like the motivation for me is realizing that I am going to die and none of this stuff actually matters. So just go do the thing I was scared of doing and fuck everyone else. Right? No one's going to go, oh, that best mortgage guy ever, best mortgage coach ever when they're at my funeral. Like a lot of people are. Are they even going to make it to your funeral? And then the ones that do, they're going to like, they have their celebration of life and they have lunch and then they carry on with their day and then they get back to the shit that matters to them. And then you're just a distant memory where you gave up all this time right now where you're here, where you can make such an impact in your life by doing these boring basic things over and over again. But you're so worried about what people are going to think. If I send a text to someone, oh, and they only get back to me.
00:25:59 Ryan Wiley
Oh, my God. What if I send one to Sally and Sally doesn't like respond? Or what if she's like, stop texting me. Like, oh, man, now my day's room, which means now I can't show up for my kids, which means now I can't make my other 10 phone calls. I promised myself I was going to make my non -negotiables. And you're just like, oh, my God. Get over it. Come on, kids. Let's strengthen it up a little here. Let's get fucking stronger. Let's get real. Is this a career? Are you building a business or just a hobby and you're at a farmer's market selling mortgages? A lot of you just look like you're at a farmer's market. And you got a fucking mortgage tent up and you also have fucking pickled carrots on the side. Right? Like, come on. That's it, kids. Staying disciplined is the number one thing out of all that, in my opinion, but they all play in together. Hopefully you got something from that. I love and appreciate the support. If you have questions about this and you don't have a way to get to my phone, then just hit me up on Instagram. I get to it. I don't check at all times, but I will. If you have a problem with something, let me know. But otherwise, I appreciate the support. Okay. Much love, everyone. Have a great week. Bye.
Welcome to the mortgage game. I truly, truly believe that building a mortgage business, a successful one is like playing a game. There's winners, there's losers. There's certain things you try. Some of us are playing checkers while others are playing chess. I've had the ability to coach and mentor hundreds of mortgage brokers. I myself built a very nice business. So now I want to distill all that information, all the things I've learned from that and bring it directly to you in a simple to understand way. I hope you enjoy.
00:00:38 Ryan Wiley
All right. Welcome to the Mortgage Game Podcast. West Coast Wiley here. Coming to you live from the Dodge Ram studio. Once again, those who don't know, maybe you're just starting to listen to this podcast, but I don't know, we're in episode 300 and something. 302, 303, something like that. 98 % of the podcasts have been reported in a Dodge Ram. So for those of you thinking, I want to start a podcast or I want to get on social media, but I need like this camera. I need this fancy stuff. I need like a whole day to do it. I need an editing crew and I need, I need a podcast studio and I need a fancy microphone. I'm like, sure, you could do that. Or you could just use a headset that's eight years old like me and just record in your vehicle and just tell people because it's, you're adding value. It doesn't matter what you're doing in life. how you get it across. If you're just adding value, it comes through that way and you're going to win. So keep that in mind with what you're doing, right? There's a lot of people who don't add value, but jazz it up with all the other stuff. And then eventually the jig's up and everyone's like, yeah, it's the same old fucking shit. And that person's really not who I thought they were. And this is mass produced and it's like a reality show. And then all of a sudden you're like, but it's just to get clicks. But they've accomplished their mission. was a bamboozle a bunch of people. Whereas this is pretty raw and how I want all the stuff I do to be pretty raw and authentic. And I think moving forward, authenticity wins even more so now. And as AI keeps coming in, you'll be listening to people you don't even realize are fake people. You're probably already doing that. You're probably already following people on social that are fake people that are like avatars. And that's just going to be the world. So the more you can let... people feel like they're talking to a real person, it's your real thoughts and opinions on stuff, the better off you're going to be. So this is me just kind of giving you the nudge and going, hey, I know some of you have your own podcast and this was the inspiration for it. You let me know that and that's phenomenal. I know some of you have been down the social media journey and you're like, it doesn't have to be this big thing. Just get it going. Get it going and don't wait till Monday. Get it done today. Like, why not now? Why not today? Why not in the next hour? Why not? Like, what are you really doing in the next hour that's so important? Stopping you from the thing you know you really need to go do. Especially if you get leverage from it. Okay, that's not what today's podcast is about. But I just wanted to give people the props out of start stuff that they, you know, they're worried that someone's gonna make fun of them. You're giving too much control to other people and their opinions and how it impacts you and your family's life. So there's three things we're gonna talk about today. And if you get these three things right, even if you just get one of them right, it's gonna have a massive impact on your life. Personally, business wise, you'll have more of the things you want. And I'm not just saying like material things. I'm saying like relationships and health and happiness and all that stuff. And it's number one, no specific order distractions. Most of you are just overly distracted on so many things. We're going to talk about that. Next thing is discipline. What that actually means with some examples. And then the last is just. giving away your power to other people, other people's opinions, and basically worrying too much about stuff you can't control. So we're going to talk about those three things, okay? I promise you'll get value from this, but before we do that, and if you're a first -time listener or pretty close, I do have sponsorship for this podcast, so I have to give them their props. So today's podcast is sponsored by Americana.
00:04:15 Ryan Wiley
And then you have to listen to me drink the Americana. That's part of the gig. It's part of the sponsorship deal. I signed it a long time ago. I can't get out of the contracts. You know, these contracts I hate. This is one I signed. I was sugar, among others. Okay, let's get into it. So distraction.
00:04:31 Ryan Wiley
It is very, very, very obvious to me that a lot of you, you already know, and I'm going to keep this in the context of Mortgage World because it's the Mortgage Game podcast, but you can take this and push it into other areas for sure. But all of you know, we all know what we need to do. When I get on coaching calls with people, Like the first thing I do is I map out and I go, okay, what would it take to do this? And what would it take? Okay, so you want to increase your revenue from 100K to 200K. What would that take? What would you have to do to do that that you aren't doing now? And we map it all out. They end up mapping out a business plan. And I'm just guiding them and asking the same questions, but I'm usually just asking, what would it take? And I go, I'm going to say, hey, I'm going to ask this like 20 times. Like, what would it take for this to happen for this? Okay, you need more leads. So what would it take for you to get more leads? gun to your head, where would you go get, if you needed to get 50 leads in 30 days, where would you go? Oh, well, I'd talk to people I know. Okay. And then I would talk to some, okay, sounds good. And I start calling people. Okay. And so what would it take for you to actually do that, to remind yourself to do that? Well, I'd put it in the calendar. I'm like, okay, now we're writing this down. And then like, what would it take for you to actually show up? and do that work? And what would you say when you reached out? And like when I just start asking these questions and you think about it, the plan comes. So we all know what we need to do. There's only so many things in this mortgage business. There's a lot of shiny shit out there. And most of it doesn't impact your business nearly as much as you think. And when you get back to basics, like my goal is to just build a boring mortgage team. And when I say that, I don't mean boring people because it's quite the opposite in a very, very, very good way. It's not that. It is we just want to talk about boring things all the time. We sprinkle in the shiny stuff 100%. If we think it's going to have an impact, we will. And we think our shiny things, I don't even want to call them that anymore because they're turning into foundational pieces. But they're way better than what anyone else is doing. But the basics of your prospecting. Building a brand, your email marketing, your referral partner relationships, your database mining. Like when we talk about that stuff, it's always the same thing. And it's more about why aren't we doing it? And a lot of it comes down to I'm distracted. It's like it shows up in the calendar and then I don't do it. It's like, OK, so I did this many years ago and it changed my mortgage business. It really did when I actually like reverse engineer it back. And I'm like such a subtle moves I made that there was a big ripple effect on my business. And a lot of it was because I was distracted. So I had to remove the distractions. And I had to set myself up to win. And simple, simple things. Whereas when I know I have a money -making task in the calendar and it's bright green. And I believe this is what I need to do to change my business and change the trajectory of my family's lives. So it's fucking idiotic of me to not do it. I'm just going to do it over and over and over again. I'm never going to stop, so I'm always going to win. But I removed the distraction. So I did this. I get my phone goes upside down, goes on do not. And my phone's always on do not disturb, by the way. FYI, I'm going to go down that path right now and explain that. You call me, even when I was running my mortgage business, you call me, I can't get through. It's like, what if I was waiting for, there's no call that is so important that I need to break my money -making task where I get leverage from and access to, it opens other doors with access to leverage and bigger relationships and more things to build 20 deals. Instead of focusing on this one, I'm not ignoring it, but I'm going to get to it when I'm done my thing. I'll go and check my missed calls, my messages. All my voicemails go to text and I respond. How's it going? What's going on? Okay. Yes, I can help. Can't book today. Give me your email. Send you an email within one hour and you book a call. Not today, only tomorrow. You can't get access to me today. That's for new leads. Current files, appraiser calling, all that. Guess what? I called them back. And guess what? They pick up the phone or they don't and then they call me back. And then guess what? But it's like, I'm not going to jump in because that's not as important that one file to make $5 ,000. Important in disrupting my daily habits of the foundational pieces in my business. So like, I don't know when people are texting me. I don't know when apps are giving me notifications. They're all turned off. I don't know when I'm getting phone calls. They're all turned off. I've had it this way for. It's got to be nine years, eight, nine years, and it's glorious. Guess what? I'm not, I don't want to say a slave to my phone, probably a better word for that, but I'm not sitting here just going, oh my God, oh my God, and I'll react, react, like a little kid with the dopamine hand, and oh, got to get back, oh, got to get back, got to get, I get back to people. I get back to them. Obviously, there's always exceptions to rules. If there's one -off things here and there that I know are extremely important for X, Y, and Z reason. So I'm waiting on the call from a doctor for a test result. Okay, I'll turn my do not disturb off for the day. If I'm waiting on blah, blah, blah, you determine that. You're an adult, you determine that. But I take that away so now people can't distract me. So now I can't negotiate with myself when it comes to doing the money -making tasks in my calendar. I remove the distractions. The lights go off in my office. If I'm in a build day, if I'm working on mining my database, like I would go into my office for... Five, six hours at a time. Lights shut off. There'd be like lunch showing up at the door. It's like, knock, knock. Here we go, honey. Okay. Here you go. Do you need anything? No. Do you need water? No. Okay. Boom. Leave me alone. Like in the nicest way. The kids leave alone. The dogs leave alone. Don't have any responsibility. I'm here to mine the database because the lead pipeline is dry. So I need to fill it up. And the only way I'm going to do that is by attacking the database and making calls and texts and emails and just doing that until the lead pipeline is so full. Because there's nothing else in my world that I could do that's as important as that. Nothing else in my business world. So don't check the email.
00:11:05 Ryan Wiley
check the email. That goes off. Don't care what I'm waiting on. Don't look at that. If you get distracted with apps on your phone, take the apps off your phone. If you get distracted with your phone, put your phone in one of those boxes where it locks. Come on. Come on. How old are we? What are we doing here? Are you in a fucking adult or are you a kid? Like, what are you doing? I get you're like, I'm so distracted. I can't keep focus. Then split the script. You control the rules of the game. But you're playing in other people's games by their rules. And these multi -trillion dollar companies like Instagram and Facebook, like their job is to keep you distracted. That's how they make their money. That's how you lose your money. So what the F? So distractions. Number one, if you can't keep yourself not distracted and do the things in your calendar because you deem that they're that important and they start building on all these pieces of your prospecting, your referral partners, your database mining, and like your number one problem is leads and this is what's going to solve your number one problem in your business, which is going to help feed your family and change your quality of life, then grow the fuck up. and do it, leads me to my number two point, which is discipline. The next thing, I don't know which one we're lacking more, is where we get distracted, so we need focus, or if it's discipline, they probably go hand in hand. But discipline, I see a lot of just undisciplined people. And the definition of discipline, if I had to, I didn't look it up, but if I had to, my definition of it, is doing things you don't want to do every day over and over again. You going on bike rides every day is not being disciplined because that's stuff you like doing,
00:12:50 Ryan Wiley
on bike rides every day is not being disciplined because that's stuff you like doing, right? You making healthy meals for yourself.
00:13:00 Ryan Wiley
healthy meals for yourself. Well, if you like prepping meals and you like cooking and you like the recipe and searching, you like all that, that's not being disciplined. That's just you doing stuff you like over and over again that benefits you and your body. It's the other stuff, the stuff you don't want to do, the stuff that will change your life. If you don't like starting conversations with people, why question if you're in the right business? But then I get back to get over it. You need to do it. Stay disciplined. So go do that 10 times a day. for the rest of your life, your life, like your bank account, because that's how we measure. I sound cold when I say this. I'm not trying to be. Obviously, your mortgage business gives you freedom and it gives you the ability to move anywhere you want, work anywhere you want, spend more time. But a lot of you are missing the mark on that. You're not taking advantage of that part because you don't have the actual business built, but you keep hanging your hat on quality of life, work -life balance. I can work from the beach. Well, are you? Because you have your fucking laptop open. okay, the fact that you travel and you can work, cool, but are you actually like present with the people you went with? Right? So you talk about it, but you're not backing it up. You're not taking full advantage of what we do for a living. Because if you did, sure, you can work at the beach with your laptop, but then you can also take six weeks off at the beach with no laptop. And if you're like, I don't even understand that world, Ryan, okay, because you're just not there. There's levels to this game and you're just on that level. you're still at one of the beginner levels. You're on the hamster wheel level. You're trying to figure it out. And so staying disciplined on those things, if you just sat there and outlined what are the things I know I need to do in my business and then put a part two to that and part B to that and you went, I don't like doing these things. I don't like social media, but I know I need it. So what do I do? I just now do it because I don't like doing that. And you can just be like that, like a kid and storm out of the room. Like, I don't want to do this. Why don't you want to do it? It'll change your life. You'll make the $400 ,000 you said you wanted to make, but you obviously don't because you don't want to do the work. You want to go do these things. You want your family to move in this house and you want to be able to travel and do this and you want to save up money for that. But, oh, dad doesn't want to like talk to 10 people every day. Like, oh, poor baby. Like, well, fuck. Okay. Then what's your plan? And you don't want to go on social media. Cool. You don't have to. Then what's the plan? What's the plan for three years from now? Right? Everything you do right now should be towards building your business three years from now. There's a broker on my team who did $5 million in her first year and hustled her fucking way through it and got there with all the reasons not to. And some of you might be like, $5 million, that's good. And other people might be like, that's not great. If you know the situation, it's phenomenal. And guess what? She's already hired fulfillment. What? How did it? Yeah, because they get paid when you get paid. And she's building the business she wants three years from now. So she realizes she has to do that so that she can go and focus her time and energy on the money -making tasks, which, right, like she's thinking big. And a lot of you are still stuck in this first. couple year in the industry thing and you're not thinking long term and you're just going to be on this hamster wheel forever. So the discipline part, my definition once again, but this podcast is brought to you by Americana.
00:16:46 Ryan Wiley
Once again is doing things you do not want to do over and over again. When you don't want to do them. I feel tired today. Man. Mom or dad's going to go, I'm not working today. I'll do 20 opens tomorrow instead of 10 today and 10 tomorrow. Because I'm tired and I don't do things when I'm tired. I'm depressed today. I'm fucking doing depressed. Like,
00:17:14 Ryan Wiley
I'm scared of what people are going to say. Do it anyway. Do it anyway. You know, I ate a jalapeno chicken burger. Don't know what that is, but I ate that. And I have indigestion. So I can't do my email marketing today. Like, what the fuck? Like, it's so crazy to me. Even just saying it out loud. I'm like, oh, my God. Grow up. And like someone else said, told me and it just hit me. She's like, it's the job. It's the job. So be disciplined. You can be disciplined. And once again, it's not things you want to do. Kudos to you if you do those. That's kind of like, hey, you're being consistent. Good for you. But being disciplined is doing the shit you don't want to do. There's a ton of shit that I do every single day that I do not want to do. But I do it. And it's dumb little things and it's bigger things. And I just do it. And the ones who are the most successful around me are the most disciplined. Without a doubt. Not even close. And so I learned that early on. And I'm going to do the things others don't want to do. And that's just going to help me get where I want to go before anyone else. Because I will do those things. And other people just get lazy. They get tired. They don't want to wake up early. They don't want to stay up late. They get like all the excuses creeping. Like, oh, having a bad day today. And they let their business creep in. They go, oh, I have deals blowing up everywhere. So I can't do that. It's like. What? You have single deals blowing up? Like, you'll get to it. And don't let that ruin your day. And then you let that ruin your debt. Stuff you could not control is now creeped in and impacted the way you run a business. So it leads me to my other point, like, stop worrying about stuff you can't control. And this happens a lot. And this is a big mindset play. And it's why I've just, you know, I'm not on X anymore. We spend a lot of time on our... phone in our feeds. So controlling the narrative on your feed is super important. If there's any negativity in the mortgage business or not, I remove it. I block, say, don't fucking ever show me this again. If there's wars going, don't care. Not that I don't care. I get it. Bad example, but I just don't need to know about it. How am I better off? If I'm using it as perspective for my own life, Different story, but most of us don't. We say that like a cliche line. Oh, it gives you perspective, right? People getting bombed while they're out for lunch gives you, but then you fucking carry on your day and nothing changes. So don't give me that bullshit that helps there. It's more, I just remove all the negativity, the politics, what's going on with the economy, what's going on in the world. And if some of you are like, yeah, but I want to know. Okay, cool. That's a hobby. That's great. And you get to know, but at what cost? Is it costing you emotional real estate? Is it then seeping into your business or your personal life? Because it's changing your mind, the state that your mind is in at that time, which then now you're using as excuses to not do the things and stay disciplined. Like, this is a thing you need to understand. So my feed is like, when you go into whatever app you want to go into, it's cooking shows, it's... stand -up comedy, there's puppies in there, there's sports, motivation, all that. All the other shit, all the negative people. You say something negative on my social, blocked. I block so many people because there's fucking idiots out there. Just get rid of it. I don't even think about it. I just go, oh, okay, well, yeah, blocked. Thank you. You just let me know. Your color is a block. Like, it's not even like, I'm in a debate with you now. It's like, why? Where am I winning here? How are my kids winning here? How am I like, is that helping my stress levels? Is it lowering my blood pressure, increasing my blood pressure? Do I like how I feel? Do I not? Like I've removed all the outside negativity on things. And so when I go into my day, now think about this. My phone can't get to me until I get to it. It's on do not disturb. I don't look at it half the time. Can't get to me there. Then if I do go into a social something somewhere, it's all positivity. So you can't get to me there. And I'm constantly blocking and fine -tuning things. And I don't really watch TV. And when I do, I just watch TV shows. Or I watch cooking shows. That's what I like to do. And so you can't get to me there. I'm not watching the news. I'm not like, I don't know. People are like, hey, did you hear about the thing? The earthquake in Venezuela? I'm like, no. Then I went and researched it. I was like, oh my God, that's fucking horrible. And I read for it. And then I was like, man, like, Godspeed. I hope stuff happens. And I went back into protection mode.
00:22:21 SPEAKER_01
And I shut it down.
00:22:22 Ryan Wiley
it down. And I got out. Didn't have a clue. People ask me all the time, what, did you hear about that? I'm like, no. Did you hear about the family that, the boating accident off of BC? Once again, I went and looked that up. The one that capsized and six people died just the other day. I'm like, no. So I went and looked it up. Gave it the due respect it had. I can't change anything. And then I got out and I went back into protection mode. But I don't know these things because the things that happen, they're not like, and are there glorious stories out there I'm depriving myself of? Probably. But it's okay. I made a judgment call on that. I can't control these things. I can't control how my clients react. I can't control how the lenders are going to react. I can't control. So when they come back with answers I don't like, it's kind of like, okay, now what? Right? It's not, let's fucking bitch about it. And then let's complain how much they suck. And let's say no one's getting back to me. It's just like, what's the solution? Like, I'm only about this solution. Not 1 % of me wants to sit here and complain because I can't change a fucking thing. And it's something we talk about with our kids all the time. All the time. And you know, you have a swear jar. We have a complaint jar. So you make a complaint. Money goes in the complaint jar. Anybody. And we use it on a family vacation. But it's that. No complaining allowed. This is a complain -free zone. Nobody benefits from it. So shut that shit down. Get your head straight. Get it back in the game and focus on the things that move the needle. Everything else is just noise. And the world is very good at putting noise in front of you, distractions, trying to tear you down instead of building you up. And it's people in your own circle. Cut them out. The distractions out. And the better you can do this, the better you can stop worrying about what everyone is thinking and saying and what's going on in the world and all those things and focus on you and just you. And a lot of you use it as distractions. You go down this path and it's because it's others people thing and you like create drama and you get in the world. And now you all of a sudden, I got busy and it's just the day got away from me. And it's like, fuck that. Why didn't you get the thing done? But you said. And your plan was so important and was going to take you to the promised land and build the business that you stay up at night thinking about. And your spouse and your family are relying on you to go do the thing and you know what the thing is, but you're spending your time over here with shit that does not matter. I'm going to wrap this up here shortly. Don't forget, like, and I remind myself last time, like, we're all going to be dead. And this is very, like... Hey, thanks for, oh, really, Ryan? Really? Yeah. You're all going to die. And Steve Jobs had a great quote and is one of my favorites and I'll paraphrase it, but like the motivation for me is realizing that I am going to die and none of this stuff actually matters. So just go do the thing I was scared of doing and fuck everyone else. Right? No one's going to go, oh, that best mortgage guy ever, best mortgage coach ever when they're at my funeral. Like a lot of people are. Are they even going to make it to your funeral? And then the ones that do, they're going to like, they have their celebration of life and they have lunch and then they carry on with their day and then they get back to the shit that matters to them. And then you're just a distant memory where you gave up all this time right now where you're here, where you can make such an impact in your life by doing these boring basic things over and over again. But you're so worried about what people are going to think. If I send a text to someone, oh, and they only get back to me.
00:25:59 Ryan Wiley
Oh, my God. What if I send one to Sally and Sally doesn't like respond? Or what if she's like, stop texting me. Like, oh, man, now my day's room, which means now I can't show up for my kids, which means now I can't make my other 10 phone calls. I promised myself I was going to make my non -negotiables. And you're just like, oh, my God. Get over it. Come on, kids. Let's strengthen it up a little here. Let's get fucking stronger. Let's get real. Is this a career? Are you building a business or just a hobby and you're at a farmer's market selling mortgages? A lot of you just look like you're at a farmer's market. And you got a fucking mortgage tent up and you also have fucking pickled carrots on the side. Right? Like, come on. That's it, kids. Staying disciplined is the number one thing out of all that, in my opinion, but they all play in together. Hopefully you got something from that. I love and appreciate the support. If you have questions about this and you don't have a way to get to my phone, then just hit me up on Instagram. I get to it. I don't check at all times, but I will. If you have a problem with something, let me know. But otherwise, I appreciate the support. Okay. Much love, everyone. Have a great week. Bye.