March 27, 2025

267: How Much is Isolation Tax Costing You?

267: How Much is Isolation Tax Costing You?
267: How Much is Isolation Tax Costing You?
The Mortgage Game
267: How Much is Isolation Tax Costing You?
YouTube podcast player badge
Apple Podcasts podcast player badge
Spotify podcast player badge
YouTube podcast player iconApple Podcasts podcast player iconSpotify podcast player icon

In this episode, I share how much the isolation tax is costing you in your personal life and in your business, and what you need to to do get out of that debt.

***

Visit www.iamryanwiley.com to stay up to date on all things Mortgage Game, learn more about Team Wiley, PLUS sign up for coaching, events, our newsletter, & more!

***

CONNECT WITH ME ON SOCIAL

📸 Ryan Wiley's Instagram: @iamryanwiley

🎵 Ryan Wiley's TikTok: @iamryanwiley

🔗 Ryan Wiley's LinkedIn: @RyanWiley

👤 Ryan Wiley's Facebook: @RyanWiley

***

1
00:00:06,110 --> 00:00:07,550
Welcome to the mortgage game.

2
00:00:07,790 --> 00:00:09,890
I truly, truly believe that

3
00:00:09,890 --> 00:00:13,370
building a mortgage business, a
successful one, is like playing a

4
00:00:13,370 --> 00:00:13,530
game.

5
00:00:13,530 --> 00:00:15,050
There's winners, there's losers,

6
00:00:15,050 --> 00:00:16,430
there's certain things you try.

7
00:00:16,430 --> 00:00:18,130
Some of us are playing checkers,

8
00:00:18,130 --> 00:00:19,910
while others are playing chess.

9
00:00:19,910 --> 00:00:22,410
I've had the ability to coach and

10
00:00:22,410 --> 00:00:23,570
mentor hundreds of mortgage
brokers.

11
00:00:23,570 --> 00:00:27,930
I myself built a very nice
business, so now I want to distill

12
00:00:27,930 --> 00:00:30,770
all that information, all the
things I've learned from that, and

13
00:00:30,770 --> 00:00:33,190
bring it directly to you in a
simple -to -understand way.

14
00:00:33,190 --> 00:00:34,230
I hope you enjoy.

15
00:00:34,230 --> 00:00:34,930
All right.

16
00:00:34,930 --> 00:00:38,790
Welcome to the Mortgage Game
Podcast.

17
00:00:38,930 --> 00:00:39,790
West Coast Wiley here.

18
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,850
Just hanging out after spring

19
00:00:41,850 --> 00:00:42,350
break.

20
00:00:43,490 --> 00:00:45,330
First week down, second week

21
00:00:45,330 --> 00:00:47,050
coming up.

22
00:00:47,050 --> 00:00:48,310
Yeah, that's right.

23
00:00:48,310 --> 00:00:50,330
BC, there's two spring break
weeks.

24
00:00:50,330 --> 00:00:51,430
Ontario, there was one.

25
00:00:51,430 --> 00:00:52,990
I don't know.

26
00:00:53,410 --> 00:00:55,870
Some people look at that in a
positive way.

27
00:00:55,870 --> 00:00:57,890
Others, not so much, depending how
young your kids are, depending how

28
00:00:57,890 --> 00:00:58,950
crazy you are at work.

29
00:00:58,950 --> 00:00:59,490
Not sure.

30
00:00:59,630 --> 00:01:00,710
I'm on the second week.

31
00:01:00,710 --> 00:01:03,490
It is what it is.

32
00:01:03,490 --> 00:01:05,060
We're powering through, but we had
a little vacation.

33
00:01:05,060 --> 00:01:07,620
So it was pretty awesome.

34
00:01:07,620 --> 00:01:07,720
Okay.

35
00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:09,080
I want to share this with you.

36
00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:11,220
This was, man, I've been thinking

37
00:01:11,220 --> 00:01:14,160
about this for a while and then
just being away, it just brought

38
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:14,440
this back.

39
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:15,940
And it's one of these things we've

40
00:01:15,940 --> 00:01:19,320
got, you know, when I was away, I
completely disconnected like 95 %

41
00:01:19,540 --> 00:01:22,680
of the time from anything I was
doing work -wise.

42
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:27,800
And so, but what I found was this,
I found that I really missed a lot

43
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,700
of daily things I was doing there
are some mortgage brokers that

44
00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:35,220
I've been chatting with every day
for four or five months and from

45
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:40,760
Monday to Friday we have our daily
check -in calls and this is where

46
00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:44,600
I'm like I didn't have those I
stepped out of those and they

47
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,900
didn't have me there and next time
maybe we'll keep them running for

48
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:51,100
everybody we'll just have someone
man the booth as they say but I

49
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:53,280
didn't have that and I quickly
realized this I was like wow that

50
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,720
connection with other human beings
where I get to know them more

51
00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:59,220
intimately, I was craving that and
didn't even realize it.

52
00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:02,790
And I look at us as mortgage
brokers.

53
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:06,910
And once again, this is something
I've been thinking about for a

54
00:02:06,910 --> 00:02:07,170
long time.

55
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:09,030
And I'm like, society as a whole

56
00:02:09,030 --> 00:02:11,050
is just driving us into isolation
in every which way.

57
00:02:11,050 --> 00:02:12,690
Since coming out of COVID and
really is happening before that,

58
00:02:12,690 --> 00:02:14,010
but convenience is king.

59
00:02:14,010 --> 00:02:16,750
Like you want to get groceries.

60
00:02:16,750 --> 00:02:20,290
Some people don't go to the
grocery store anymore, right?

61
00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:22,230
They just bring, they show up at
your door.

62
00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:25,370
OK, some people don't even go out
to get food anymore.

63
00:02:25,510 --> 00:02:26,770
Just boom, shows up, skip the
dishes or Uber Eats.

64
00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:28,610
It's like all this automation, all
this quick instant stuff.

65
00:02:28,610 --> 00:02:31,950
It's just coming to where it makes
you just live inside your house

66
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:33,290
and be, quite frankly, antisocial.

67
00:02:33,290 --> 00:02:35,530
And I'm sitting here looking at

68
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:39,430
I'm seeing it happen live time in
front of us.

69
00:02:39,610 --> 00:02:42,930
And so most of us are trying to
build a referral based business

70
00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:46,870
and referrals are built off of
relationships.

71
00:02:47,630 --> 00:02:49,350
Yet, we need that for our
business.

72
00:02:49,350 --> 00:02:51,650
Yet, our day -to -day is about
isolating ourselves and talking to

73
00:02:51,650 --> 00:02:53,950
less people and leaning into those
shorter, less significant

74
00:02:53,950 --> 00:02:55,290
relationships and the convenience
tax.

75
00:02:55,290 --> 00:02:56,810
There's convenience taxes.

76
00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:57,730
There's isolation tax.

77
00:02:57,730 --> 00:03:01,260
There's all these taxes we're
paying.

78
00:03:01,260 --> 00:03:04,980
Your net worth is directly tied,
we've heard this, to the people

79
00:03:04,980 --> 00:03:06,520
you surround yourself with.

80
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:10,600
And so if you're not surrounding

81
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:15,160
yourself with people because
you're constantly pulling yourself

82
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:19,940
away, oh my God, like you have to
sit back there.

83
00:03:19,940 --> 00:03:23,740
So and go, well, how do I change
this?

84
00:03:23,740 --> 00:03:28,220
Because the world's going to this,
stay in your house, get on your

85
00:03:28,220 --> 00:03:31,720
phone, grind your thing, swipe, go
to bed, wake up, do it all over,

86
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,340
do your social post.

87
00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:34,240
And you being social on social

88
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:37,020
media, like that doesn't quite do
it either because you can't tell

89
00:03:37,020 --> 00:03:39,360
me your happiness scale is through
the roof.

90
00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:43,580
You can't tell me that you being
more isolated from people as a

91
00:03:43,580 --> 00:03:44,800
whole makes you a happier person,
right?

92
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:48,300
I'm not saying you have to be out
like shaking hands, kissing babies

93
00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:50,480
every day, but I'm not even
talking business.

94
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,960
I'm just going in general.

95
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:53,540
Where are we drawing our happiness

96
00:03:53,540 --> 00:03:57,360
from if our circle just keeps
shrinking on top of it?

97
00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:02,340
And it's just interesting when you
sit back and then I look at people

98
00:04:02,340 --> 00:04:03,480
who are struggling a lot as
mortgage brokers.

99
00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,940
even the ones that are doing well,
but like we're doing this, we're

100
00:04:06,940 --> 00:04:08,240
on islands, right?
It's really hard.

101
00:04:08,700 --> 00:04:11,140
It's really hard to build these
businesses on islands.

102
00:04:11,140 --> 00:04:13,100
You don't have access to certain
people.

103
00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:15,860
You're sitting there, feel like
you're doing it on your own.

104
00:04:15,860 --> 00:04:17,380
Everything's on your shoulders.

105
00:04:17,380 --> 00:04:18,839
You're supposed to just go into

106
00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:23,740
your office, grind it out, hustle,
the hustle mode, the grind mode,

107
00:04:23,740 --> 00:04:27,560
do that, come out and be this.

108
00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,440
happy person that jumps into your

109
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:33,800
family life and with your other
friends and then go back into

110
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,160
grindo mode and stay at your desk.

111
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:36,920
It's like this cycle.

112
00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:38,340
And you're just like, wow, this
isn't good.

113
00:04:38,340 --> 00:04:39,560
Not good at all.

114
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,240
So, and I realized this when I was

115
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:41,540
away.

116
00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:43,480
I didn't, I, I never had daily

117
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:43,920
conversations.

118
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,190
with the same type of like -minded

119
00:04:46,190 --> 00:04:47,510
people over and over.

120
00:04:47,510 --> 00:04:48,770
We had stuff with our team and

121
00:04:48,770 --> 00:04:49,850
with people that work for me.

122
00:04:49,850 --> 00:04:51,010
But it wasn't necessarily every

123
00:04:51,010 --> 00:04:51,010
day.

124
00:04:51,010 --> 00:04:53,030
And even if it was, we're talking

125
00:04:53,030 --> 00:04:55,450
about work stuff and some
personal.

126
00:04:55,450 --> 00:04:59,150
But now my cup is being filled
because of this.

127
00:04:59,150 --> 00:04:59,770
And I'm like, whoa.

128
00:04:59,770 --> 00:05:02,330
And I actually genuinely missed

129
00:05:02,330 --> 00:05:02,590
it.

130
00:05:02,590 --> 00:05:07,580
And I was like, that's so cool.

131
00:05:07,580 --> 00:05:10,500
And it just made me realize how
many mortgage brokers are missing

132
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:10,640
that.

133
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,000
And so it's like, what's the

134
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,540
option?
How do I get away from this?

135
00:05:14,540 --> 00:05:15,600
Stop paying the isolation tax.

136
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:16,820
And I got that from some

137
00:05:16,820 --> 00:05:19,600
newsletter I'm signed up with.

138
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,700
And she writes a phenomenal

139
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:22,100
article.

140
00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:24,140
I can't even remember her name

141
00:05:24,220 --> 00:05:24,460
right now.

142
00:05:24,460 --> 00:05:26,880
But that's where I got that.

143
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,040
She called it isolation tax.

144
00:05:28,540 --> 00:05:30,060
And she went into a different

145
00:05:30,060 --> 00:05:30,600
rant.

146
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,080
But the concept was the same.

147
00:05:33,790 --> 00:05:36,710
It's like we are losing happiness
and net worth because we're trying

148
00:05:36,710 --> 00:05:40,630
to do this all on our own on an
island.

149
00:05:40,630 --> 00:05:42,790
So what's the answer?
What's the solution then, Ryan?

150
00:05:42,790 --> 00:05:43,790
You're like, yeah, this is great.

151
00:05:43,790 --> 00:05:44,470
You're right.

152
00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:44,850
I agree.

153
00:05:44,850 --> 00:05:45,950
Like, I can tell you this

154
00:05:46,910 --> 00:05:47,350
unequivocally.

155
00:05:47,350 --> 00:05:48,350
I am more happier now because I'm

156
00:05:48,350 --> 00:05:49,790
doing stuff I want to do every
day.

157
00:05:49,790 --> 00:05:54,310
But I can also see in my regular
day -to -day life where that

158
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:58,870
happiness isn't there where it
used to be because I used to be in

159
00:05:58,870 --> 00:05:59,990
more social circles.

160
00:05:59,990 --> 00:06:03,220
And now I'm not.

161
00:06:03,220 --> 00:06:05,000
So my world is really shrunk.

162
00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:06,440
And it's not until I step back and

163
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,400
I just call what it is.

164
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:11,480
I'm like, yeah, you're right.

165
00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:14,020
I don't have as tight of
friendships that I used to.

166
00:06:14,020 --> 00:06:17,300
I don't have, right?
My work has become a big portion

167
00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:18,280
of my life.

168
00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:20,120
And that's not good.

169
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:21,800
That's not good.

170
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,400
So how do you fill your cup?

171
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,540
How do you do that?
Well, there's a bunch of different

172
00:06:26,540 --> 00:06:26,780
ways.

173
00:06:26,780 --> 00:06:29,440
I'm just going to like throw out

174
00:06:29,820 --> 00:06:30,320
some different ways.

175
00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:31,680
But it comes from like having a

176
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:32,240
sense of community.

177
00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:33,320
And I read this other article

178
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,340
where churches were making a
comeback.

179
00:06:35,340 --> 00:06:35,440
Young.

180
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,140
people looking single, young,

181
00:06:37,140 --> 00:06:41,100
single people are now hanging out
at churches more and more because

182
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:44,240
it's people that are like -minded
and it's social and it's filling

183
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:44,940
their cup.

184
00:06:44,940 --> 00:06:45,840
They're getting, and they're like,

185
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:47,700
oh, instead of the bar, they're
going to church, which is just

186
00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:47,880
crazy.

187
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:48,560
And it's like, it's interesting.

188
00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:51,280
And so you go, but that's a
community, right?

189
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,700
And I know a lot of mortgage
brokers or just even business

190
00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:59,410
owners that a lot of their
business comes from church because

191
00:06:59,410 --> 00:07:01,790
that's a community of like -minded
people.

192
00:07:01,790 --> 00:07:04,270
So how do you find a community of
like -minded people?

193
00:07:04,270 --> 00:07:07,590
It doesn't have to be the church,
but if it's business, like how do

194
00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:09,130
you build a community?
Well, you could start a dinner

195
00:07:09,130 --> 00:07:09,470
club.

196
00:07:09,610 --> 00:07:11,490
And I've done a podcast on this.

197
00:07:11,490 --> 00:07:13,850
You should go search one of the
earlier ones.

198
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:16,710
I used to run a dinner club and
that's like you're seeing it.

199
00:07:16,710 --> 00:07:19,850
It's a once a quarter and you get
to invite who comes.

200
00:07:19,850 --> 00:07:20,690
You get to pick anybody.

201
00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:23,070
It could be a golfing club.

202
00:07:23,070 --> 00:07:25,250
It could be a dog walking club.

203
00:07:25,250 --> 00:07:26,450
It could be whatever, whatever.

204
00:07:26,450 --> 00:07:28,940
Some sort of club where you're
hanging out with like -minded

205
00:07:28,940 --> 00:07:29,300
individuals.

206
00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:30,180
It could be entrepreneurial dads

207
00:07:30,180 --> 00:07:30,520
or moms.

208
00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,500
It could be small business owners.

209
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:34,640
It could be, right, your own B &I
type group where you're not as,

210
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:35,780
You know, hey, bring us leads.

211
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:37,220
It doesn't have to be that, but

212
00:07:37,220 --> 00:07:37,980
some form of community.

213
00:07:37,980 --> 00:07:39,500
And you being in a Facebook group

214
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:40,140
is not a community.

215
00:07:40,140 --> 00:07:40,900
That doesn't count.

216
00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,160
If you're starting your own
Facebook group and you're seen as

217
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:46,500
the person leading it and you get
to keep your finger on the pulse

218
00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,320
of the interactions going on in
there.

219
00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:50,120
And I'm not saying you go start a
Facebook group.

220
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,320
But I'm just going, huh.

221
00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:54,260
And so from one of our other

222
00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:56,900
training calls, there was a couple
mortgage brokers, moms, who were

223
00:07:56,900 --> 00:07:59,050
like, we want to empower single
moms around finances.

224
00:08:00,210 --> 00:08:02,750
And I'm like, why don't you do a
Facebook group?

225
00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:05,010
They're like, yeah, we kind of
already have one like that.

226
00:08:05,010 --> 00:08:09,950
And I'm like, we'll call it
financial success for single moms.

227
00:08:09,950 --> 00:08:12,110
And one -stop shop to get trusted
advice.

228
00:08:12,110 --> 00:08:14,170
right, on anything financial
related, insurance, mortgage, real

229
00:08:14,170 --> 00:08:15,310
estate, investing, whatever.

230
00:08:15,310 --> 00:08:16,730
The simple questions you're maybe

231
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:19,730
too embarrassed at, go ask over
here, but you bring it in here.

232
00:08:19,730 --> 00:08:22,670
And even if you're getting advice,
at least you know this is coming

233
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:23,050
from other moms.

234
00:08:23,050 --> 00:08:25,130
And you have single moms as the

235
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,710
experts in there talking about it.

236
00:08:26,910 --> 00:08:30,270
And so you build up your referral

237
00:08:30,270 --> 00:08:31,050
network there.

238
00:08:31,050 --> 00:08:31,890
But where I'm going with this is,

239
00:08:31,890 --> 00:08:34,510
I know what is going on behind the
scenes with what we're building.

240
00:08:34,510 --> 00:08:35,710
in the community aspect of it.

241
00:08:35,710 --> 00:08:39,710
And I'm not talking about just a

242
00:08:39,710 --> 00:08:41,950
bunch of people in training calls.

243
00:08:41,950 --> 00:08:45,850
I'm talking about giving a space

244
00:08:45,870 --> 00:08:51,190
where adults who are all in the
same journey, who are like

245
00:08:51,190 --> 00:08:53,950
-minded, who are business focused
in the mortgage industry, that all

246
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,650
have a good head on their
shoulders, that all share, that

247
00:08:55,650 --> 00:08:58,110
all give more than they take, that
all do all these things.

248
00:08:58,110 --> 00:08:59,430
We're spending a lot of time
together.

249
00:08:59,430 --> 00:09:00,370
And it's so cool.

250
00:09:00,370 --> 00:09:01,010
I love it.

251
00:09:01,010 --> 00:09:03,970
I'm like, and I'll tell you this,
when you find your people and you

252
00:09:03,970 --> 00:09:08,030
find your community and maybe you
go create and it's your own

253
00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:12,900
mastermind networking group and
you guys meet once a week and it's

254
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:13,840
the three, four people.

255
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:15,120
When you start connecting with

256
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:22,160
people who are on the same journey
as you and you get to know each

257
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:25,560
other, you just have a deeper
sense of wanting to help them.

258
00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:28,920
and responsibility and vice versa,
and they want to help you.

259
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:31,660
And that's where you start, that
compound effect starts coming out.

260
00:09:31,660 --> 00:09:34,840
And imagine if you had like your
four, five, 10 people that really

261
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:39,920
cared about you and your business
and were there to help you.

262
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:41,500
Imagine if you had that.

263
00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:43,300
But this takes time and effort,

264
00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:46,120
right?
But it also fills your other cup.

265
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,900
This isn't going to be a crazy
long podcast, by the way.

266
00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:50,560
But it fills the other cup of just
the social side, right?

267
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:54,000
And potentially maybe you meet
some of them in person.

268
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,280
And you get along with them.

269
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:57,320
But it's people you can go to for

270
00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:57,900
help.

271
00:09:57,900 --> 00:10:00,060
And you're creating like little

272
00:10:00,060 --> 00:10:03,820
mini mentors on certain topics
because they're good at that and

273
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:04,320
they're good at this.

274
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,600
And it's just, I look around us

275
00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:08,620
and I see a divided world.

276
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,020
And I know you can see whatever

277
00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:11,960
world you want.

278
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,560
So I get that.

279
00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:14,040
And I do.

280
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,060
I always see the positive in

281
00:10:15,060 --> 00:10:15,300
things.

282
00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:16,960
I really, really do.

283
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,580
The glass is always half full with
me.

284
00:10:19,580 --> 00:10:20,960
But I see people just taking
shortcuts.

285
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,000
not being as good as in
relationships, not being as good

286
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:23,820
as communicating things with
people.

287
00:10:23,820 --> 00:10:27,180
There's a lot of, just one sec,
this podcast brought to you by

288
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:27,920
Mocha.

289
00:10:28,020 --> 00:10:28,700
Yeah, that's right.

290
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:29,400
I would Mocha right now.

291
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:30,800
Yeah, one pump.

292
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:31,140
That's it.

293
00:10:31,140 --> 00:10:31,540
Too sweet.

294
00:10:31,540 --> 00:10:33,420
But I see this world where like
the communication skills, even

295
00:10:33,420 --> 00:10:34,320
with mortgage brokers, it's
lacking.

296
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,440
And I'm just talking about
mortgage brokers.

297
00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,120
It's really every industry, an
adult, but there are people coming

298
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:42,800
up right now in the industry or
still been there that can't string

299
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,000
together a couple sentences.

300
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,340
And why do you think that is?

301
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:48,220
Well, it's because they're sitting
at home consuming content and

302
00:10:48,220 --> 00:10:50,960
stuff and not using apps to bring
things to their door and they're

303
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:54,700
not going out and they're not
having like actual conversations

304
00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:56,260
with people.

305
00:10:56,260 --> 00:10:57,890
It's interesting.

306
00:10:57,890 --> 00:10:59,710
Toastmasters is a group you don't
know.

307
00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:00,750
It's about public speaking.

308
00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:02,870
It's a phenomenal group to go

309
00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:02,970
join.

310
00:11:02,970 --> 00:11:03,870
You getting good at articulating

311
00:11:03,950 --> 00:11:07,790
to people your value adds, why
they should work with you,

312
00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:10,650
overcoming objections they're
going to have, you knowing how to

313
00:11:10,650 --> 00:11:15,610
roll off your tongue, exactly why
they should use this product over

314
00:11:15,610 --> 00:11:18,930
that product or this strategy or
that strategy.

315
00:11:18,930 --> 00:11:20,850
Some people have the gift.

316
00:11:20,850 --> 00:11:21,170
Others don't.

317
00:11:21,170 --> 00:11:21,870
Most people don't.

318
00:11:21,870 --> 00:11:24,870
So you, this is a skill you have

319
00:11:24,870 --> 00:11:25,670
to work on.

320
00:11:25,670 --> 00:11:27,410
And so if you're not putting

321
00:11:27,410 --> 00:11:30,110
yourself in social situations
where you're doing webinars and

322
00:11:30,110 --> 00:11:32,070
presentations and presenting to
groups and constantly in helping

323
00:11:32,490 --> 00:11:36,230
other people and chatting with
them about their business and how

324
00:11:36,230 --> 00:11:39,270
you can help them and how they can
help you and like role -playing a

325
00:11:39,270 --> 00:11:39,830
different scenario.

326
00:11:39,830 --> 00:11:42,170
Like if you're not doing that, you

327
00:11:42,170 --> 00:11:46,440
have to go create it because
otherwise you're just going to

328
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:46,860
slowly wither away.

329
00:11:46,860 --> 00:11:49,600
Your skill set, whatever it is,

330
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,760
those soft sales skills will just
wither away.

331
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:55,140
They'll deteriorate over time.

332
00:11:55,140 --> 00:11:57,100
It's like an exercise you have to

333
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:59,020
work on all the time.

334
00:11:59,020 --> 00:12:00,380
And I'm seeing it.

335
00:12:00,380 --> 00:12:03,040
I get so much access to brokers
and the conversations.

336
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:07,200
And I can tell you right now, the
quality of brokers that I see now

337
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:10,160
versus four or five years ago,
it's far less.

338
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:13,180
And a lot of it comes down to I
don't see a lot of happiness.

339
00:12:13,180 --> 00:12:14,380
Man, this is like a doomsday
thing.

340
00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:16,260
It's really not.

341
00:12:16,260 --> 00:12:17,860
It's really not.

342
00:12:17,860 --> 00:12:22,180
Because I've chose to surround
myself with awesome people.

343
00:12:22,180 --> 00:12:23,820
And I don't let unawesome people
in.

344
00:12:23,820 --> 00:12:25,620
And if I do, I quickly correct and
I get them out.

345
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:28,080
Because you're never going to get
it right all the time.

346
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,260
So I have to protect my happiness.

347
00:12:29,260 --> 00:12:30,620
I have to protect the club, who

348
00:12:30,620 --> 00:12:32,680
gets in the club, my circle.

349
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:37,150
And so right now, I'm in a really

350
00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:42,310
good spot because I'm surrounding
myself with a lot of really good

351
00:12:42,310 --> 00:12:43,090
people.

352
00:12:43,090 --> 00:12:45,190
who are just, they're my people.

353
00:12:45,190 --> 00:12:46,130
They're doing things the right
way.

354
00:12:46,130 --> 00:12:51,010
And so plus, because we get to
have deeper conversations on

355
00:12:51,010 --> 00:12:55,670
things and more conversations and
our care level is up through the

356
00:12:55,670 --> 00:12:59,070
roof, we're also just naturally
working on soft skills.

357
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:02,610
Those soft skills are how to
present yourself to your end

358
00:13:02,610 --> 00:13:04,760
client or referral partner.

359
00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,700
And so I see a lot through all the

360
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:11,440
training I'm doing, I see a lot of
brokers who can't clearly

361
00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:11,700
articulate.

362
00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:14,000
why someone should work with them.

363
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:14,700
That's a problem.

364
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:16,080
That's a big fucking problem.

365
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:20,460
Why should I work with you for a
20 basis point premium?

366
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:23,400
If you can't roll off your tongue,
why someone should be able to?

367
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,320
And maybe you have four or five
questions you ask first and then

368
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:26,260
you get in there.

369
00:13:26,260 --> 00:13:27,800
If you can't do that, you've got a

370
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:28,120
problem.

371
00:13:28,300 --> 00:13:30,060
You're already up against it.

372
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,680
So instead of you trying to go
figure other shit out, try to

373
00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:35,720
figure out why a client Wouldn't
want to work with you.

374
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,260
Why a referral partner wouldn't
want to work with you.

375
00:13:38,260 --> 00:13:40,980
I can't give you the keys to that.

376
00:13:40,980 --> 00:13:42,260
It's different for everybody.

377
00:13:42,260 --> 00:13:45,820
But I can point you in a direction
and go, you should use that,

378
00:13:45,820 --> 00:13:48,300
right?
Instead of ordering the food in

379
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,400
because it's convenient, maybe you
go out and eat and maybe you talk

380
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:57,700
to the table next to you and maybe
you talk to the person in line and

381
00:13:57,980 --> 00:14:03,230
maybe you talk to the server and
maybe you just like, right?

382
00:14:03,230 --> 00:14:05,710
And this is where I'm going.

383
00:14:05,710 --> 00:14:07,970
Maybe you just socialize a little

384
00:14:07,970 --> 00:14:10,370
more when you're out.

385
00:14:10,370 --> 00:14:11,590
And about maybe you put yourself

386
00:14:11,590 --> 00:14:15,250
out there a little more because
there's this massive ripple effect

387
00:14:16,150 --> 00:14:19,730
of stuff and you putting yourself
out there on social media.

388
00:14:19,730 --> 00:14:20,010
Sure.

389
00:14:20,010 --> 00:14:20,130
Great.

390
00:14:20,130 --> 00:14:21,730
But you're still kind of masking
it, right?

391
00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:22,090
It's controlled.

392
00:14:22,090 --> 00:14:22,430
It's recorded.

393
00:14:22,690 --> 00:14:23,250
It's edited.

394
00:14:23,250 --> 00:14:24,990
Are you truly getting the right

395
00:14:24,990 --> 00:14:26,630
person out there?
Like, are you putting yourself out

396
00:14:26,630 --> 00:14:27,290
there?
A lot of you aren't.

397
00:14:27,290 --> 00:14:28,790
But are you happier because you're
on there?

398
00:14:28,790 --> 00:14:29,970
Most of us aren't.

399
00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:31,340
You're just doing it because you

400
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,020
were told to do it.

401
00:14:33,020 --> 00:14:34,620
And you're like, oh yeah, I guess

402
00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:35,020
it works.

403
00:14:35,020 --> 00:14:35,740
But you're not happier.

404
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,280
So how do you become happier and
have a better business?

405
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:39,860
Well, it starts with having more
conversations with people.

406
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:45,960
And the more conversations you can
have, the better you'll get at

407
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,440
your craft and your art, your soft
skills.

408
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,220
And the more you'll find the
people who are your people.

409
00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:50,160
And then you start building your
network.

410
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,780
which in turn increases your net
worth, which in turn increases

411
00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:53,100
your happiness.

412
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,500
Maybe in that order, but maybe in

413
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:56,260
the other order.

414
00:14:56,260 --> 00:14:57,940
You get what I'm saying?

415
00:14:57,940 --> 00:15:01,740
So we're being pushed into this
spot as a society where everyone

416
00:15:01,740 --> 00:15:05,020
wants you to just live on your
phone and a computer.

417
00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:07,740
wants you to just live on your
phone and a computer.

418
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:11,380
And it's so bonkers.

419
00:15:11,380 --> 00:15:13,240
And unless you sit back and

420
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,320
actually realize it before you
know it.

421
00:15:15,620 --> 00:15:19,260
You're going to be a grumpy 40
-year -old mortgage broker

422
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:20,820
grinding away, making $180 ,000,
working in your office in the

423
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:23,920
basement, hating compliance
documents and down payment

424
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,100
documents and being 20 pounds
overweight and not understanding

425
00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:26,980
how the fuck you got there.

426
00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:27,880
Like this was the path you were

427
00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:28,100
always on.

428
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:28,460
So it's interesting.

429
00:15:28,460 --> 00:15:30,900
You go to some of these
conferences.

430
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:34,280
You know, if you've listened to
this, whoever hates conferences,

431
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,880
I'm not going to debate that.

432
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:38,720
They're for everyone.

433
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:39,920
One second.

434
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,880
This podcast is brought to you by

435
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:42,100
Mocha.

436
00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:42,320
Okay.

437
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:43,680
But you go to these conferences.

438
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:45,860
And I'm not saying the conferences

439
00:15:45,860 --> 00:15:46,940
are the social circles.

440
00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:49,480
It could be, but those are like

441
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:50,820
one -offs here and there.

442
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:53,040
I'm talking about like the daily

443
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:53,360
things.

444
00:15:53,580 --> 00:15:56,180
I'm not saying, hey, I'm going to

445
00:15:56,180 --> 00:15:59,260
go sign up to five conferences a
year, four conferences a year.

446
00:15:59,260 --> 00:16:00,900
Shit, that's a lot.

447
00:16:00,900 --> 00:16:02,560
That's a big commitment.

448
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:08,520
A lot of them are two, three days.

449
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:09,740
A lot of them you don't learn fuck

450
00:16:09,740 --> 00:16:09,840
all.

451
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:09,080
A lot of them you're traveling,

452
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:09,220
hotel.

453
00:16:09,220 --> 00:16:12,160
Like you're just like, ah, it's

454
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:13,360
like so much.

455
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,500
And you come back and you're like,

456
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:18,720
I don't know if that was the best
use of my time.

457
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:22,420
I think that was just an excuse to
get away.

458
00:16:22,420 --> 00:16:24,680
That's what it was.

459
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:25,440
But another conversation.

460
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:31,360
I'm not convinced that's what gets
you into your happy place, right?

461
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:36,780
It's like, what can you do daily
and weekly to build a tribe, to

462
00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:40,060
build a community of people who
are on the same journey?

463
00:16:40,060 --> 00:16:41,160
And it could be a health journey.

464
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,280
It could be financial literacy

465
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:43,500
journey.

466
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:45,760
It could be entrepreneur journey.

467
00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:47,320
It could build a mortgage broker
journey.

468
00:16:47,460 --> 00:16:50,200
Whatever the journey is, who are
your people?

469
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:54,140
Where's the community, right?
I've been saying this for many

470
00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:57,010
years, but you go to these
mortgage conferences, and I'll be

471
00:16:57,010 --> 00:16:59,090
honest, our industry, if you're
just looking at the health factor

472
00:16:59,090 --> 00:16:59,930
and the happiness factor, it's
low.

473
00:16:59,930 --> 00:17:02,430
Most mortgage brokers are either
A, not super happy, a little

474
00:17:02,430 --> 00:17:03,310
grumpy, pessimistic, and out of
shape.

475
00:17:03,310 --> 00:17:05,250
There's the laundry list of stuff.

476
00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:07,349
And it's a product of... A lot of

477
00:17:07,349 --> 00:17:09,170
it is the business we're in and
the business model you have.

478
00:17:09,170 --> 00:17:10,250
But it also doesn't have to be
that way.

479
00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:11,849
Obviously, the priorities aren't
right if that's the case.

480
00:17:11,849 --> 00:17:15,790
But it's really hard to get out of
that cycle when you're at home in

481
00:17:15,790 --> 00:17:17,310
your office and you're isolated
and you're doing your things and

482
00:17:17,310 --> 00:17:19,770
you go in your apps and you go in
your social and you go, right?

483
00:17:19,770 --> 00:17:21,130
Being pushed into a corner.

484
00:17:21,130 --> 00:17:22,829
backed into a corner essentially

485
00:17:23,349 --> 00:17:28,569
and then told to go hey go build
this business and talk to a bunch

486
00:17:28,690 --> 00:17:31,850
of people you're like i don't know
mortgage broker don't know how to

487
00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:35,990
talk to people i don't want to
talk to people like are you those

488
00:17:35,990 --> 00:17:39,910
people when you take the train or
you take whatever you're staying

489
00:17:40,170 --> 00:17:44,470
line someone you'd rather just not
talk to anyone at all or are you

490
00:17:44,470 --> 00:17:51,970
the person that you're on a plane
and you sit beside them and you

491
00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:53,830
start a conversation you see if
there's commonality and if so you

492
00:17:53,830 --> 00:17:58,770
go deep and if not you shut her
down I read this story way back

493
00:17:58,770 --> 00:18:04,790
when, and it was about this one
guy who couldn't afford first

494
00:18:04,790 --> 00:18:10,150
class tickets, but he always
upgraded to first class because

495
00:18:11,130 --> 00:18:16,770
the quality of people there that
he met business -wise, like acumen

496
00:18:16,770 --> 00:18:20,000
-wise about how successful they
were, was far better than coach.

497
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:24,180
And he got to have these
conversations and he blew up his

498
00:18:24,180 --> 00:18:26,440
business with investors he met
from flying first class, just

499
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:27,380
doing his regular traveling.

500
00:18:27,380 --> 00:18:30,300
Because he forced his way into a

501
00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:33,580
network and then put himself out
there to have these conversations,

502
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:35,380
right?
So how do you come up with that

503
00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:36,800
version of that for you, right?
That dinner club, right?

504
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:40,120
Imagine if you had 10 people who
were entrepreneurs, who A, were a

505
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,350
good time to hang out with.

506
00:18:42,350 --> 00:18:43,810
B, moral compass was set right.

507
00:18:43,810 --> 00:18:45,530
C, made a commitment to meet once
every three months.

508
00:18:45,530 --> 00:18:49,350
That starts, and you're seen as
the person I put together.

509
00:18:49,350 --> 00:18:53,790
And then that starts blowing up
and turning into a bunch of other

510
00:18:53,790 --> 00:18:53,930
stuff.

511
00:18:53,930 --> 00:18:55,290
Because other people will want to

512
00:18:55,290 --> 00:18:58,050
come and then they get an invite
from someone there and it slowly

513
00:18:58,050 --> 00:18:58,750
grows and builds.

514
00:18:58,750 --> 00:19:00,170
And you're seen as the, you know,

515
00:19:00,170 --> 00:19:01,290
the master of it all.

516
00:19:01,290 --> 00:19:01,530
Right.

517
00:19:01,530 --> 00:19:05,010
So I just want to put this out
there because I know a lot of you

518
00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:07,830
might be thinking this or you
might be like, Ryan, you're out to

519
00:19:07,830 --> 00:19:08,410
lunch, which is cool.

520
00:19:08,410 --> 00:19:11,290
I am out to lunch a bunch of

521
00:19:11,290 --> 00:19:11,590
times.

522
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:13,710
You might be like, yeah, Ryan,

523
00:19:13,710 --> 00:19:14,050
good point.

524
00:19:14,050 --> 00:19:15,030
Yeah, I get it.

525
00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:17,930
So now what do I do?
I don't know.

526
00:19:17,930 --> 00:19:20,150
I don't know the answer.

527
00:19:20,150 --> 00:19:23,590
But I do know community is the

528
00:19:23,590 --> 00:19:23,970
answer.

529
00:19:23,970 --> 00:19:26,350
You coming up with your version of

530
00:19:26,350 --> 00:19:26,950
community.

531
00:19:26,950 --> 00:19:27,190
Okay.

532
00:19:27,190 --> 00:19:28,150
So my version of community.

533
00:19:28,150 --> 00:19:31,430
is I thought it was going to be a

534
00:19:31,430 --> 00:19:31,950
Facebook group.

535
00:19:31,950 --> 00:19:34,130
No, hell no. Because I don't like

536
00:19:34,270 --> 00:19:35,290
when people can hide behind
keyboards.

537
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,920
I like to see you.

538
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:39,040
I like to hear.

539
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:40,140
I like to ask you questions.

540
00:19:40,140 --> 00:19:42,800
I want to know how that thing went

541
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:43,300
on the weekend.

542
00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:47,040
I want to know what you and your

543
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,460
significant other did and why you
didn't do that.

544
00:19:49,460 --> 00:19:54,140
And what'd you think of that?
I want to know how you got that

545
00:19:54,140 --> 00:19:55,360
lead from the realtor.

546
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,320
What did you say?

547
00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:59,360
What did they say?
Why have they sent you other ones?

548
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:00,880
Why was this lead better than the
others?

549
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,580
Did you do your follow up?
Did you like that's and I get to

550
00:20:03,580 --> 00:20:05,780
have those conversations every
single freaking day on the team.

551
00:20:05,780 --> 00:20:06,520
And that's what I love.

552
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:07,200
And that's my community.

553
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:07,840
So very cool.

554
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,760
It was just I wanted to start this

555
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:11,640
because I'm a happier person
because of that.

556
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:15,180
And that was something I did not
plan, did not even think about, to

557
00:20:15,180 --> 00:20:17,000
be honest, but it's happening live
in front.

558
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:17,780
So that's it, kids.

559
00:20:17,780 --> 00:20:18,380
Hopefully you got something from

560
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:18,540
that.

561
00:20:18,540 --> 00:20:19,000
Until next time.

562
00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:19,360
Peace out.