267: How Much is Isolation Tax Costing You?
In this episode, I share how much the isolation tax is costing you in your personal life and in your business, and what you need to to do get out of that debt.
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Welcome to the mortgage game.
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I truly, truly believe that
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building a mortgage business, a
successful one, is like playing a
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00:00:13,370 --> 00:00:13,530
game.
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There's winners, there's losers,
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there's certain things you try.
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Some of us are playing checkers,
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while others are playing chess.
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I've had the ability to coach and
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mentor hundreds of mortgage
brokers.
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I myself built a very nice
business, so now I want to distill
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all that information, all the
things I've learned from that, and
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bring it directly to you in a
simple -to -understand way.
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I hope you enjoy.
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All right.
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Welcome to the Mortgage Game
Podcast.
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West Coast Wiley here.
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Just hanging out after spring
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break.
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First week down, second week
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coming up.
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Yeah, that's right.
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BC, there's two spring break
weeks.
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Ontario, there was one.
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I don't know.
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Some people look at that in a
positive way.
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Others, not so much, depending how
young your kids are, depending how
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crazy you are at work.
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Not sure.
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I'm on the second week.
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It is what it is.
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We're powering through, but we had
a little vacation.
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So it was pretty awesome.
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Okay.
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I want to share this with you.
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This was, man, I've been thinking
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about this for a while and then
just being away, it just brought
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this back.
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And it's one of these things we've
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got, you know, when I was away, I
completely disconnected like 95 %
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of the time from anything I was
doing work -wise.
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And so, but what I found was this,
I found that I really missed a lot
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of daily things I was doing there
are some mortgage brokers that
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I've been chatting with every day
for four or five months and from
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Monday to Friday we have our daily
check -in calls and this is where
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I'm like I didn't have those I
stepped out of those and they
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didn't have me there and next time
maybe we'll keep them running for
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everybody we'll just have someone
man the booth as they say but I
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didn't have that and I quickly
realized this I was like wow that
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connection with other human beings
where I get to know them more
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intimately, I was craving that and
didn't even realize it.
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And I look at us as mortgage
brokers.
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And once again, this is something
I've been thinking about for a
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long time.
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And I'm like, society as a whole
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is just driving us into isolation
in every which way.
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Since coming out of COVID and
really is happening before that,
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but convenience is king.
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Like you want to get groceries.
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Some people don't go to the
grocery store anymore, right?
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They just bring, they show up at
your door.
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OK, some people don't even go out
to get food anymore.
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Just boom, shows up, skip the
dishes or Uber Eats.
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It's like all this automation, all
this quick instant stuff.
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It's just coming to where it makes
you just live inside your house
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and be, quite frankly, antisocial.
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And I'm sitting here looking at
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I'm seeing it happen live time in
front of us.
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And so most of us are trying to
build a referral based business
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and referrals are built off of
relationships.
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Yet, we need that for our
business.
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Yet, our day -to -day is about
isolating ourselves and talking to
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less people and leaning into those
shorter, less significant
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relationships and the convenience
tax.
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There's convenience taxes.
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There's isolation tax.
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There's all these taxes we're
paying.
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Your net worth is directly tied,
we've heard this, to the people
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you surround yourself with.
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And so if you're not surrounding
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yourself with people because
you're constantly pulling yourself
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away, oh my God, like you have to
sit back there.
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So and go, well, how do I change
this?
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Because the world's going to this,
stay in your house, get on your
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phone, grind your thing, swipe, go
to bed, wake up, do it all over,
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do your social post.
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And you being social on social
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media, like that doesn't quite do
it either because you can't tell
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me your happiness scale is through
the roof.
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You can't tell me that you being
more isolated from people as a
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whole makes you a happier person,
right?
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I'm not saying you have to be out
like shaking hands, kissing babies
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every day, but I'm not even
talking business.
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I'm just going in general.
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Where are we drawing our happiness
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from if our circle just keeps
shrinking on top of it?
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And it's just interesting when you
sit back and then I look at people
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who are struggling a lot as
mortgage brokers.
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even the ones that are doing well,
but like we're doing this, we're
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on islands, right?
It's really hard.
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It's really hard to build these
businesses on islands.
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You don't have access to certain
people.
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You're sitting there, feel like
you're doing it on your own.
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Everything's on your shoulders.
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You're supposed to just go into
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your office, grind it out, hustle,
the hustle mode, the grind mode,
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do that, come out and be this.
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happy person that jumps into your
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family life and with your other
friends and then go back into
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grindo mode and stay at your desk.
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It's like this cycle.
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And you're just like, wow, this
isn't good.
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Not good at all.
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So, and I realized this when I was
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away.
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I didn't, I, I never had daily
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conversations.
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with the same type of like -minded
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people over and over.
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We had stuff with our team and
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with people that work for me.
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But it wasn't necessarily every
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day.
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And even if it was, we're talking
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about work stuff and some
personal.
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But now my cup is being filled
because of this.
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And I'm like, whoa.
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And I actually genuinely missed
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it.
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And I was like, that's so cool.
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And it just made me realize how
many mortgage brokers are missing
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that.
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And so it's like, what's the
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option?
How do I get away from this?
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Stop paying the isolation tax.
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And I got that from some
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newsletter I'm signed up with.
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And she writes a phenomenal
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article.
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I can't even remember her name
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right now.
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But that's where I got that.
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She called it isolation tax.
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And she went into a different
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rant.
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But the concept was the same.
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It's like we are losing happiness
and net worth because we're trying
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to do this all on our own on an
island.
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So what's the answer?
What's the solution then, Ryan?
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You're like, yeah, this is great.
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You're right.
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I agree.
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Like, I can tell you this
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unequivocally.
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I am more happier now because I'm
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doing stuff I want to do every
day.
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But I can also see in my regular
day -to -day life where that
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happiness isn't there where it
used to be because I used to be in
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more social circles.
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And now I'm not.
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So my world is really shrunk.
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And it's not until I step back and
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I just call what it is.
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I'm like, yeah, you're right.
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I don't have as tight of
friendships that I used to.
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I don't have, right?
My work has become a big portion
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of my life.
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And that's not good.
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That's not good.
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So how do you fill your cup?
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How do you do that?
Well, there's a bunch of different
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ways.
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I'm just going to like throw out
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some different ways.
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But it comes from like having a
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sense of community.
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And I read this other article
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where churches were making a
comeback.
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Young.
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people looking single, young,
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single people are now hanging out
at churches more and more because
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it's people that are like -minded
and it's social and it's filling
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their cup.
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They're getting, and they're like,
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oh, instead of the bar, they're
going to church, which is just
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crazy.
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And it's like, it's interesting.
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And so you go, but that's a
community, right?
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And I know a lot of mortgage
brokers or just even business
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owners that a lot of their
business comes from church because
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that's a community of like -minded
people.
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So how do you find a community of
like -minded people?
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It doesn't have to be the church,
but if it's business, like how do
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you build a community?
Well, you could start a dinner
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club.
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And I've done a podcast on this.
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You should go search one of the
earlier ones.
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I used to run a dinner club and
that's like you're seeing it.
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It's a once a quarter and you get
to invite who comes.
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You get to pick anybody.
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It could be a golfing club.
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It could be a dog walking club.
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It could be whatever, whatever.
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Some sort of club where you're
hanging out with like -minded
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individuals.
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It could be entrepreneurial dads
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or moms.
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It could be small business owners.
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It could be, right, your own B &I
type group where you're not as,
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You know, hey, bring us leads.
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It doesn't have to be that, but
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some form of community.
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And you being in a Facebook group
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is not a community.
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That doesn't count.
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If you're starting your own
Facebook group and you're seen as
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the person leading it and you get
to keep your finger on the pulse
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of the interactions going on in
there.
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And I'm not saying you go start a
Facebook group.
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But I'm just going, huh.
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And so from one of our other
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training calls, there was a couple
mortgage brokers, moms, who were
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like, we want to empower single
moms around finances.
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And I'm like, why don't you do a
Facebook group?
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They're like, yeah, we kind of
already have one like that.
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And I'm like, we'll call it
financial success for single moms.
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And one -stop shop to get trusted
advice.
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right, on anything financial
related, insurance, mortgage, real
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estate, investing, whatever.
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The simple questions you're maybe
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too embarrassed at, go ask over
here, but you bring it in here.
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And even if you're getting advice,
at least you know this is coming
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from other moms.
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And you have single moms as the
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experts in there talking about it.
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And so you build up your referral
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network there.
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But where I'm going with this is,
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I know what is going on behind the
scenes with what we're building.
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in the community aspect of it.
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And I'm not talking about just a
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bunch of people in training calls.
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I'm talking about giving a space
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where adults who are all in the
same journey, who are like
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-minded, who are business focused
in the mortgage industry, that all
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have a good head on their
shoulders, that all share, that
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all give more than they take, that
all do all these things.
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We're spending a lot of time
together.
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And it's so cool.
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00:09:00,370 --> 00:09:01,010
I love it.
251
00:09:01,010 --> 00:09:03,970
I'm like, and I'll tell you this,
when you find your people and you
252
00:09:03,970 --> 00:09:08,030
find your community and maybe you
go create and it's your own
253
00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:12,900
mastermind networking group and
you guys meet once a week and it's
254
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:13,840
the three, four people.
255
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:15,120
When you start connecting with
256
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:22,160
people who are on the same journey
as you and you get to know each
257
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:25,560
other, you just have a deeper
sense of wanting to help them.
258
00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:28,920
and responsibility and vice versa,
and they want to help you.
259
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:31,660
And that's where you start, that
compound effect starts coming out.
260
00:09:31,660 --> 00:09:34,840
And imagine if you had like your
four, five, 10 people that really
261
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:39,920
cared about you and your business
and were there to help you.
262
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:41,500
Imagine if you had that.
263
00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:43,300
But this takes time and effort,
264
00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:46,120
right?
But it also fills your other cup.
265
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,900
This isn't going to be a crazy
long podcast, by the way.
266
00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:50,560
But it fills the other cup of just
the social side, right?
267
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:54,000
And potentially maybe you meet
some of them in person.
268
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,280
And you get along with them.
269
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:57,320
But it's people you can go to for
270
00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:57,900
help.
271
00:09:57,900 --> 00:10:00,060
And you're creating like little
272
00:10:00,060 --> 00:10:03,820
mini mentors on certain topics
because they're good at that and
273
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:04,320
they're good at this.
274
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,600
And it's just, I look around us
275
00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:08,620
and I see a divided world.
276
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,020
And I know you can see whatever
277
00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:11,960
world you want.
278
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,560
So I get that.
279
00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:14,040
And I do.
280
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,060
I always see the positive in
281
00:10:15,060 --> 00:10:15,300
things.
282
00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:16,960
I really, really do.
283
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,580
The glass is always half full with
me.
284
00:10:19,580 --> 00:10:20,960
But I see people just taking
shortcuts.
285
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,000
not being as good as in
relationships, not being as good
286
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:23,820
as communicating things with
people.
287
00:10:23,820 --> 00:10:27,180
There's a lot of, just one sec,
this podcast brought to you by
288
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:27,920
Mocha.
289
00:10:28,020 --> 00:10:28,700
Yeah, that's right.
290
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:29,400
I would Mocha right now.
291
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:30,800
Yeah, one pump.
292
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:31,140
That's it.
293
00:10:31,140 --> 00:10:31,540
Too sweet.
294
00:10:31,540 --> 00:10:33,420
But I see this world where like
the communication skills, even
295
00:10:33,420 --> 00:10:34,320
with mortgage brokers, it's
lacking.
296
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,440
And I'm just talking about
mortgage brokers.
297
00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,120
It's really every industry, an
adult, but there are people coming
298
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:42,800
up right now in the industry or
still been there that can't string
299
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,000
together a couple sentences.
300
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,340
And why do you think that is?
301
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:48,220
Well, it's because they're sitting
at home consuming content and
302
00:10:48,220 --> 00:10:50,960
stuff and not using apps to bring
things to their door and they're
303
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:54,700
not going out and they're not
having like actual conversations
304
00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:56,260
with people.
305
00:10:56,260 --> 00:10:57,890
It's interesting.
306
00:10:57,890 --> 00:10:59,710
Toastmasters is a group you don't
know.
307
00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:00,750
It's about public speaking.
308
00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:02,870
It's a phenomenal group to go
309
00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:02,970
join.
310
00:11:02,970 --> 00:11:03,870
You getting good at articulating
311
00:11:03,950 --> 00:11:07,790
to people your value adds, why
they should work with you,
312
00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:10,650
overcoming objections they're
going to have, you knowing how to
313
00:11:10,650 --> 00:11:15,610
roll off your tongue, exactly why
they should use this product over
314
00:11:15,610 --> 00:11:18,930
that product or this strategy or
that strategy.
315
00:11:18,930 --> 00:11:20,850
Some people have the gift.
316
00:11:20,850 --> 00:11:21,170
Others don't.
317
00:11:21,170 --> 00:11:21,870
Most people don't.
318
00:11:21,870 --> 00:11:24,870
So you, this is a skill you have
319
00:11:24,870 --> 00:11:25,670
to work on.
320
00:11:25,670 --> 00:11:27,410
And so if you're not putting
321
00:11:27,410 --> 00:11:30,110
yourself in social situations
where you're doing webinars and
322
00:11:30,110 --> 00:11:32,070
presentations and presenting to
groups and constantly in helping
323
00:11:32,490 --> 00:11:36,230
other people and chatting with
them about their business and how
324
00:11:36,230 --> 00:11:39,270
you can help them and how they can
help you and like role -playing a
325
00:11:39,270 --> 00:11:39,830
different scenario.
326
00:11:39,830 --> 00:11:42,170
Like if you're not doing that, you
327
00:11:42,170 --> 00:11:46,440
have to go create it because
otherwise you're just going to
328
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:46,860
slowly wither away.
329
00:11:46,860 --> 00:11:49,600
Your skill set, whatever it is,
330
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,760
those soft sales skills will just
wither away.
331
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:55,140
They'll deteriorate over time.
332
00:11:55,140 --> 00:11:57,100
It's like an exercise you have to
333
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:59,020
work on all the time.
334
00:11:59,020 --> 00:12:00,380
And I'm seeing it.
335
00:12:00,380 --> 00:12:03,040
I get so much access to brokers
and the conversations.
336
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:07,200
And I can tell you right now, the
quality of brokers that I see now
337
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:10,160
versus four or five years ago,
it's far less.
338
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:13,180
And a lot of it comes down to I
don't see a lot of happiness.
339
00:12:13,180 --> 00:12:14,380
Man, this is like a doomsday
thing.
340
00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:16,260
It's really not.
341
00:12:16,260 --> 00:12:17,860
It's really not.
342
00:12:17,860 --> 00:12:22,180
Because I've chose to surround
myself with awesome people.
343
00:12:22,180 --> 00:12:23,820
And I don't let unawesome people
in.
344
00:12:23,820 --> 00:12:25,620
And if I do, I quickly correct and
I get them out.
345
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:28,080
Because you're never going to get
it right all the time.
346
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,260
So I have to protect my happiness.
347
00:12:29,260 --> 00:12:30,620
I have to protect the club, who
348
00:12:30,620 --> 00:12:32,680
gets in the club, my circle.
349
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:37,150
And so right now, I'm in a really
350
00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:42,310
good spot because I'm surrounding
myself with a lot of really good
351
00:12:42,310 --> 00:12:43,090
people.
352
00:12:43,090 --> 00:12:45,190
who are just, they're my people.
353
00:12:45,190 --> 00:12:46,130
They're doing things the right
way.
354
00:12:46,130 --> 00:12:51,010
And so plus, because we get to
have deeper conversations on
355
00:12:51,010 --> 00:12:55,670
things and more conversations and
our care level is up through the
356
00:12:55,670 --> 00:12:59,070
roof, we're also just naturally
working on soft skills.
357
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:02,610
Those soft skills are how to
present yourself to your end
358
00:13:02,610 --> 00:13:04,760
client or referral partner.
359
00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,700
And so I see a lot through all the
360
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:11,440
training I'm doing, I see a lot of
brokers who can't clearly
361
00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:11,700
articulate.
362
00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:14,000
why someone should work with them.
363
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:14,700
That's a problem.
364
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:16,080
That's a big fucking problem.
365
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:20,460
Why should I work with you for a
20 basis point premium?
366
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:23,400
If you can't roll off your tongue,
why someone should be able to?
367
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,320
And maybe you have four or five
questions you ask first and then
368
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:26,260
you get in there.
369
00:13:26,260 --> 00:13:27,800
If you can't do that, you've got a
370
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:28,120
problem.
371
00:13:28,300 --> 00:13:30,060
You're already up against it.
372
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,680
So instead of you trying to go
figure other shit out, try to
373
00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:35,720
figure out why a client Wouldn't
want to work with you.
374
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,260
Why a referral partner wouldn't
want to work with you.
375
00:13:38,260 --> 00:13:40,980
I can't give you the keys to that.
376
00:13:40,980 --> 00:13:42,260
It's different for everybody.
377
00:13:42,260 --> 00:13:45,820
But I can point you in a direction
and go, you should use that,
378
00:13:45,820 --> 00:13:48,300
right?
Instead of ordering the food in
379
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,400
because it's convenient, maybe you
go out and eat and maybe you talk
380
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:57,700
to the table next to you and maybe
you talk to the person in line and
381
00:13:57,980 --> 00:14:03,230
maybe you talk to the server and
maybe you just like, right?
382
00:14:03,230 --> 00:14:05,710
And this is where I'm going.
383
00:14:05,710 --> 00:14:07,970
Maybe you just socialize a little
384
00:14:07,970 --> 00:14:10,370
more when you're out.
385
00:14:10,370 --> 00:14:11,590
And about maybe you put yourself
386
00:14:11,590 --> 00:14:15,250
out there a little more because
there's this massive ripple effect
387
00:14:16,150 --> 00:14:19,730
of stuff and you putting yourself
out there on social media.
388
00:14:19,730 --> 00:14:20,010
Sure.
389
00:14:20,010 --> 00:14:20,130
Great.
390
00:14:20,130 --> 00:14:21,730
But you're still kind of masking
it, right?
391
00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:22,090
It's controlled.
392
00:14:22,090 --> 00:14:22,430
It's recorded.
393
00:14:22,690 --> 00:14:23,250
It's edited.
394
00:14:23,250 --> 00:14:24,990
Are you truly getting the right
395
00:14:24,990 --> 00:14:26,630
person out there?
Like, are you putting yourself out
396
00:14:26,630 --> 00:14:27,290
there?
A lot of you aren't.
397
00:14:27,290 --> 00:14:28,790
But are you happier because you're
on there?
398
00:14:28,790 --> 00:14:29,970
Most of us aren't.
399
00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:31,340
You're just doing it because you
400
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,020
were told to do it.
401
00:14:33,020 --> 00:14:34,620
And you're like, oh yeah, I guess
402
00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:35,020
it works.
403
00:14:35,020 --> 00:14:35,740
But you're not happier.
404
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,280
So how do you become happier and
have a better business?
405
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:39,860
Well, it starts with having more
conversations with people.
406
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:45,960
And the more conversations you can
have, the better you'll get at
407
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,440
your craft and your art, your soft
skills.
408
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,220
And the more you'll find the
people who are your people.
409
00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:50,160
And then you start building your
network.
410
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,780
which in turn increases your net
worth, which in turn increases
411
00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:53,100
your happiness.
412
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,500
Maybe in that order, but maybe in
413
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:56,260
the other order.
414
00:14:56,260 --> 00:14:57,940
You get what I'm saying?
415
00:14:57,940 --> 00:15:01,740
So we're being pushed into this
spot as a society where everyone
416
00:15:01,740 --> 00:15:05,020
wants you to just live on your
phone and a computer.
417
00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:07,740
wants you to just live on your
phone and a computer.
418
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:11,380
And it's so bonkers.
419
00:15:11,380 --> 00:15:13,240
And unless you sit back and
420
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,320
actually realize it before you
know it.
421
00:15:15,620 --> 00:15:19,260
You're going to be a grumpy 40
-year -old mortgage broker
422
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:20,820
grinding away, making $180 ,000,
working in your office in the
423
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:23,920
basement, hating compliance
documents and down payment
424
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,100
documents and being 20 pounds
overweight and not understanding
425
00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:26,980
how the fuck you got there.
426
00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:27,880
Like this was the path you were
427
00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:28,100
always on.
428
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:28,460
So it's interesting.
429
00:15:28,460 --> 00:15:30,900
You go to some of these
conferences.
430
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:34,280
You know, if you've listened to
this, whoever hates conferences,
431
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,880
I'm not going to debate that.
432
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:38,720
They're for everyone.
433
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:39,920
One second.
434
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,880
This podcast is brought to you by
435
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:42,100
Mocha.
436
00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:42,320
Okay.
437
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:43,680
But you go to these conferences.
438
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:45,860
And I'm not saying the conferences
439
00:15:45,860 --> 00:15:46,940
are the social circles.
440
00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:49,480
It could be, but those are like
441
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:50,820
one -offs here and there.
442
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:53,040
I'm talking about like the daily
443
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:53,360
things.
444
00:15:53,580 --> 00:15:56,180
I'm not saying, hey, I'm going to
445
00:15:56,180 --> 00:15:59,260
go sign up to five conferences a
year, four conferences a year.
446
00:15:59,260 --> 00:16:00,900
Shit, that's a lot.
447
00:16:00,900 --> 00:16:02,560
That's a big commitment.
448
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:08,520
A lot of them are two, three days.
449
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:09,740
A lot of them you don't learn fuck
450
00:16:09,740 --> 00:16:09,840
all.
451
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:09,080
A lot of them you're traveling,
452
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:09,220
hotel.
453
00:16:09,220 --> 00:16:12,160
Like you're just like, ah, it's
454
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:13,360
like so much.
455
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,500
And you come back and you're like,
456
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:18,720
I don't know if that was the best
use of my time.
457
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:22,420
I think that was just an excuse to
get away.
458
00:16:22,420 --> 00:16:24,680
That's what it was.
459
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:25,440
But another conversation.
460
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:31,360
I'm not convinced that's what gets
you into your happy place, right?
461
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:36,780
It's like, what can you do daily
and weekly to build a tribe, to
462
00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:40,060
build a community of people who
are on the same journey?
463
00:16:40,060 --> 00:16:41,160
And it could be a health journey.
464
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,280
It could be financial literacy
465
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:43,500
journey.
466
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:45,760
It could be entrepreneur journey.
467
00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:47,320
It could build a mortgage broker
journey.
468
00:16:47,460 --> 00:16:50,200
Whatever the journey is, who are
your people?
469
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:54,140
Where's the community, right?
I've been saying this for many
470
00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:57,010
years, but you go to these
mortgage conferences, and I'll be
471
00:16:57,010 --> 00:16:59,090
honest, our industry, if you're
just looking at the health factor
472
00:16:59,090 --> 00:16:59,930
and the happiness factor, it's
low.
473
00:16:59,930 --> 00:17:02,430
Most mortgage brokers are either
A, not super happy, a little
474
00:17:02,430 --> 00:17:03,310
grumpy, pessimistic, and out of
shape.
475
00:17:03,310 --> 00:17:05,250
There's the laundry list of stuff.
476
00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:07,349
And it's a product of... A lot of
477
00:17:07,349 --> 00:17:09,170
it is the business we're in and
the business model you have.
478
00:17:09,170 --> 00:17:10,250
But it also doesn't have to be
that way.
479
00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:11,849
Obviously, the priorities aren't
right if that's the case.
480
00:17:11,849 --> 00:17:15,790
But it's really hard to get out of
that cycle when you're at home in
481
00:17:15,790 --> 00:17:17,310
your office and you're isolated
and you're doing your things and
482
00:17:17,310 --> 00:17:19,770
you go in your apps and you go in
your social and you go, right?
483
00:17:19,770 --> 00:17:21,130
Being pushed into a corner.
484
00:17:21,130 --> 00:17:22,829
backed into a corner essentially
485
00:17:23,349 --> 00:17:28,569
and then told to go hey go build
this business and talk to a bunch
486
00:17:28,690 --> 00:17:31,850
of people you're like i don't know
mortgage broker don't know how to
487
00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:35,990
talk to people i don't want to
talk to people like are you those
488
00:17:35,990 --> 00:17:39,910
people when you take the train or
you take whatever you're staying
489
00:17:40,170 --> 00:17:44,470
line someone you'd rather just not
talk to anyone at all or are you
490
00:17:44,470 --> 00:17:51,970
the person that you're on a plane
and you sit beside them and you
491
00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:53,830
start a conversation you see if
there's commonality and if so you
492
00:17:53,830 --> 00:17:58,770
go deep and if not you shut her
down I read this story way back
493
00:17:58,770 --> 00:18:04,790
when, and it was about this one
guy who couldn't afford first
494
00:18:04,790 --> 00:18:10,150
class tickets, but he always
upgraded to first class because
495
00:18:11,130 --> 00:18:16,770
the quality of people there that
he met business -wise, like acumen
496
00:18:16,770 --> 00:18:20,000
-wise about how successful they
were, was far better than coach.
497
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:24,180
And he got to have these
conversations and he blew up his
498
00:18:24,180 --> 00:18:26,440
business with investors he met
from flying first class, just
499
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:27,380
doing his regular traveling.
500
00:18:27,380 --> 00:18:30,300
Because he forced his way into a
501
00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:33,580
network and then put himself out
there to have these conversations,
502
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:35,380
right?
So how do you come up with that
503
00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:36,800
version of that for you, right?
That dinner club, right?
504
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:40,120
Imagine if you had 10 people who
were entrepreneurs, who A, were a
505
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,350
good time to hang out with.
506
00:18:42,350 --> 00:18:43,810
B, moral compass was set right.
507
00:18:43,810 --> 00:18:45,530
C, made a commitment to meet once
every three months.
508
00:18:45,530 --> 00:18:49,350
That starts, and you're seen as
the person I put together.
509
00:18:49,350 --> 00:18:53,790
And then that starts blowing up
and turning into a bunch of other
510
00:18:53,790 --> 00:18:53,930
stuff.
511
00:18:53,930 --> 00:18:55,290
Because other people will want to
512
00:18:55,290 --> 00:18:58,050
come and then they get an invite
from someone there and it slowly
513
00:18:58,050 --> 00:18:58,750
grows and builds.
514
00:18:58,750 --> 00:19:00,170
And you're seen as the, you know,
515
00:19:00,170 --> 00:19:01,290
the master of it all.
516
00:19:01,290 --> 00:19:01,530
Right.
517
00:19:01,530 --> 00:19:05,010
So I just want to put this out
there because I know a lot of you
518
00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:07,830
might be thinking this or you
might be like, Ryan, you're out to
519
00:19:07,830 --> 00:19:08,410
lunch, which is cool.
520
00:19:08,410 --> 00:19:11,290
I am out to lunch a bunch of
521
00:19:11,290 --> 00:19:11,590
times.
522
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:13,710
You might be like, yeah, Ryan,
523
00:19:13,710 --> 00:19:14,050
good point.
524
00:19:14,050 --> 00:19:15,030
Yeah, I get it.
525
00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:17,930
So now what do I do?
I don't know.
526
00:19:17,930 --> 00:19:20,150
I don't know the answer.
527
00:19:20,150 --> 00:19:23,590
But I do know community is the
528
00:19:23,590 --> 00:19:23,970
answer.
529
00:19:23,970 --> 00:19:26,350
You coming up with your version of
530
00:19:26,350 --> 00:19:26,950
community.
531
00:19:26,950 --> 00:19:27,190
Okay.
532
00:19:27,190 --> 00:19:28,150
So my version of community.
533
00:19:28,150 --> 00:19:31,430
is I thought it was going to be a
534
00:19:31,430 --> 00:19:31,950
Facebook group.
535
00:19:31,950 --> 00:19:34,130
No, hell no. Because I don't like
536
00:19:34,270 --> 00:19:35,290
when people can hide behind
keyboards.
537
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,920
I like to see you.
538
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:39,040
I like to hear.
539
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:40,140
I like to ask you questions.
540
00:19:40,140 --> 00:19:42,800
I want to know how that thing went
541
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:43,300
on the weekend.
542
00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:47,040
I want to know what you and your
543
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,460
significant other did and why you
didn't do that.
544
00:19:49,460 --> 00:19:54,140
And what'd you think of that?
I want to know how you got that
545
00:19:54,140 --> 00:19:55,360
lead from the realtor.
546
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,320
What did you say?
547
00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:59,360
What did they say?
Why have they sent you other ones?
548
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:00,880
Why was this lead better than the
others?
549
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,580
Did you do your follow up?
Did you like that's and I get to
550
00:20:03,580 --> 00:20:05,780
have those conversations every
single freaking day on the team.
551
00:20:05,780 --> 00:20:06,520
And that's what I love.
552
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:07,200
And that's my community.
553
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:07,840
So very cool.
554
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,760
It was just I wanted to start this
555
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:11,640
because I'm a happier person
because of that.
556
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:15,180
And that was something I did not
plan, did not even think about, to
557
00:20:15,180 --> 00:20:17,000
be honest, but it's happening live
in front.
558
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:17,780
So that's it, kids.
559
00:20:17,780 --> 00:20:18,380
Hopefully you got something from
560
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:18,540
that.
561
00:20:18,540 --> 00:20:19,000
Until next time.
562
00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:19,360
Peace out.






