March 27, 2025

267: How Much is Isolation Tax Costing You?

267: How Much is Isolation Tax Costing You?
267: How Much is Isolation Tax Costing You?
The Mortgage Game
267: How Much is Isolation Tax Costing You?

In this episode, I share how much the isolation tax is costing you in your personal life and in your business, and what you need to to do get out of that debt.

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***

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Welcome to the mortgage game.

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I truly, truly believe that

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building a mortgage business, a
successful one, is like playing a

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game.

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There's winners, there's losers,

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there's certain things you try.

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Some of us are playing checkers,

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while others are playing chess.

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I've had the ability to coach and

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mentor hundreds of mortgage
brokers.

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I myself built a very nice
business, so now I want to distill

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all that information, all the
things I've learned from that, and

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bring it directly to you in a
simple -to -understand way.

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I hope you enjoy.

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All right.

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Welcome to the Mortgage Game
Podcast.

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West Coast Wiley here.

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Just hanging out after spring

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break.

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First week down, second week

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coming up.

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Yeah, that's right.

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BC, there's two spring break
weeks.

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Ontario, there was one.

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I don't know.

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Some people look at that in a
positive way.

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Others, not so much, depending how
young your kids are, depending how

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crazy you are at work.

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Not sure.

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I'm on the second week.

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It is what it is.

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We're powering through, but we had
a little vacation.

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So it was pretty awesome.

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Okay.

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I want to share this with you.

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This was, man, I've been thinking

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about this for a while and then
just being away, it just brought

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this back.

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And it's one of these things we've

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got, you know, when I was away, I
completely disconnected like 95 %

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of the time from anything I was
doing work -wise.

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And so, but what I found was this,
I found that I really missed a lot

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of daily things I was doing there
are some mortgage brokers that

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I've been chatting with every day
for four or five months and from

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Monday to Friday we have our daily
check -in calls and this is where

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I'm like I didn't have those I
stepped out of those and they

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didn't have me there and next time
maybe we'll keep them running for

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everybody we'll just have someone
man the booth as they say but I

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didn't have that and I quickly
realized this I was like wow that

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connection with other human beings
where I get to know them more

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intimately, I was craving that and
didn't even realize it.

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And I look at us as mortgage
brokers.

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And once again, this is something
I've been thinking about for a

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long time.

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And I'm like, society as a whole

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is just driving us into isolation
in every which way.

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Since coming out of COVID and
really is happening before that,

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but convenience is king.

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Like you want to get groceries.

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Some people don't go to the
grocery store anymore, right?

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They just bring, they show up at
your door.

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OK, some people don't even go out
to get food anymore.

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Just boom, shows up, skip the
dishes or Uber Eats.

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It's like all this automation, all
this quick instant stuff.

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It's just coming to where it makes
you just live inside your house

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and be, quite frankly, antisocial.

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And I'm sitting here looking at

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I'm seeing it happen live time in
front of us.

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And so most of us are trying to
build a referral based business

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and referrals are built off of
relationships.

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Yet, we need that for our
business.

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Yet, our day -to -day is about
isolating ourselves and talking to

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less people and leaning into those
shorter, less significant

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relationships and the convenience
tax.

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There's convenience taxes.

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There's isolation tax.

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There's all these taxes we're
paying.

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Your net worth is directly tied,
we've heard this, to the people

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you surround yourself with.

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And so if you're not surrounding

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yourself with people because
you're constantly pulling yourself

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away, oh my God, like you have to
sit back there.

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So and go, well, how do I change
this?

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Because the world's going to this,
stay in your house, get on your

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phone, grind your thing, swipe, go
to bed, wake up, do it all over,

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do your social post.

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And you being social on social

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media, like that doesn't quite do
it either because you can't tell

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me your happiness scale is through
the roof.

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You can't tell me that you being
more isolated from people as a

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whole makes you a happier person,
right?

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I'm not saying you have to be out
like shaking hands, kissing babies

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every day, but I'm not even
talking business.

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I'm just going in general.

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Where are we drawing our happiness

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from if our circle just keeps
shrinking on top of it?

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And it's just interesting when you
sit back and then I look at people

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who are struggling a lot as
mortgage brokers.

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even the ones that are doing well,
but like we're doing this, we're

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on islands, right?
It's really hard.

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It's really hard to build these
businesses on islands.

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You don't have access to certain
people.

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You're sitting there, feel like
you're doing it on your own.

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Everything's on your shoulders.

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You're supposed to just go into

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your office, grind it out, hustle,
the hustle mode, the grind mode,

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do that, come out and be this.

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happy person that jumps into your

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family life and with your other
friends and then go back into

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grindo mode and stay at your desk.

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It's like this cycle.

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And you're just like, wow, this
isn't good.

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Not good at all.

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So, and I realized this when I was

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away.

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I didn't, I, I never had daily

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conversations.

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with the same type of like -minded

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people over and over.

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We had stuff with our team and

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with people that work for me.

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But it wasn't necessarily every

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day.

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And even if it was, we're talking

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about work stuff and some
personal.

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But now my cup is being filled
because of this.

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And I'm like, whoa.

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And I actually genuinely missed

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it.

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And I was like, that's so cool.

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And it just made me realize how
many mortgage brokers are missing

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that.

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And so it's like, what's the

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option?
How do I get away from this?

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Stop paying the isolation tax.

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And I got that from some

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newsletter I'm signed up with.

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And she writes a phenomenal

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article.

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I can't even remember her name

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right now.

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But that's where I got that.

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She called it isolation tax.

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And she went into a different

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rant.

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But the concept was the same.

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It's like we are losing happiness
and net worth because we're trying

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to do this all on our own on an
island.

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So what's the answer?
What's the solution then, Ryan?

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You're like, yeah, this is great.

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You're right.

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I agree.

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Like, I can tell you this

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unequivocally.

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I am more happier now because I'm

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doing stuff I want to do every
day.

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But I can also see in my regular
day -to -day life where that

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happiness isn't there where it
used to be because I used to be in

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more social circles.

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And now I'm not.

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So my world is really shrunk.

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And it's not until I step back and

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I just call what it is.

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I'm like, yeah, you're right.

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I don't have as tight of
friendships that I used to.

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I don't have, right?
My work has become a big portion

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of my life.

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And that's not good.

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That's not good.

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So how do you fill your cup?

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How do you do that?
Well, there's a bunch of different

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ways.

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I'm just going to like throw out

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some different ways.

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But it comes from like having a

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sense of community.

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And I read this other article

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where churches were making a
comeback.

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Young.

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people looking single, young,

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single people are now hanging out
at churches more and more because

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it's people that are like -minded
and it's social and it's filling

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their cup.

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They're getting, and they're like,

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oh, instead of the bar, they're
going to church, which is just

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crazy.

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And it's like, it's interesting.

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And so you go, but that's a
community, right?

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And I know a lot of mortgage
brokers or just even business

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owners that a lot of their
business comes from church because

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that's a community of like -minded
people.

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So how do you find a community of
like -minded people?

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It doesn't have to be the church,
but if it's business, like how do

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you build a community?
Well, you could start a dinner

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club.

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And I've done a podcast on this.

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You should go search one of the
earlier ones.

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I used to run a dinner club and
that's like you're seeing it.

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It's a once a quarter and you get
to invite who comes.

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You get to pick anybody.

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It could be a golfing club.

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It could be a dog walking club.

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It could be whatever, whatever.

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Some sort of club where you're
hanging out with like -minded

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individuals.

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It could be entrepreneurial dads

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or moms.

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It could be small business owners.

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It could be, right, your own B &I
type group where you're not as,

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You know, hey, bring us leads.

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It doesn't have to be that, but

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some form of community.

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And you being in a Facebook group

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is not a community.

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That doesn't count.

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If you're starting your own
Facebook group and you're seen as

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the person leading it and you get
to keep your finger on the pulse

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of the interactions going on in
there.

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And I'm not saying you go start a
Facebook group.

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But I'm just going, huh.

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And so from one of our other

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training calls, there was a couple
mortgage brokers, moms, who were

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like, we want to empower single
moms around finances.

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And I'm like, why don't you do a
Facebook group?

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They're like, yeah, we kind of
already have one like that.

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And I'm like, we'll call it
financial success for single moms.

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And one -stop shop to get trusted
advice.

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right, on anything financial
related, insurance, mortgage, real

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estate, investing, whatever.

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The simple questions you're maybe

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too embarrassed at, go ask over
here, but you bring it in here.

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And even if you're getting advice,
at least you know this is coming

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from other moms.

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And you have single moms as the

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experts in there talking about it.

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And so you build up your referral

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network there.

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But where I'm going with this is,

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I know what is going on behind the
scenes with what we're building.

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in the community aspect of it.

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And I'm not talking about just a

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bunch of people in training calls.

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I'm talking about giving a space

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where adults who are all in the
same journey, who are like

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-minded, who are business focused
in the mortgage industry, that all

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have a good head on their
shoulders, that all share, that

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all give more than they take, that
all do all these things.

248
00:08:58,110 --> 00:08:59,430
We're spending a lot of time
together.

249
00:08:59,430 --> 00:09:00,370
And it's so cool.

250
00:09:00,370 --> 00:09:01,010
I love it.

251
00:09:01,010 --> 00:09:03,970
I'm like, and I'll tell you this,
when you find your people and you

252
00:09:03,970 --> 00:09:08,030
find your community and maybe you
go create and it's your own

253
00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:12,900
mastermind networking group and
you guys meet once a week and it's

254
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:13,840
the three, four people.

255
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:15,120
When you start connecting with

256
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:22,160
people who are on the same journey
as you and you get to know each

257
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:25,560
other, you just have a deeper
sense of wanting to help them.

258
00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:28,920
and responsibility and vice versa,
and they want to help you.

259
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:31,660
And that's where you start, that
compound effect starts coming out.

260
00:09:31,660 --> 00:09:34,840
And imagine if you had like your
four, five, 10 people that really

261
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:39,920
cared about you and your business
and were there to help you.

262
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:41,500
Imagine if you had that.

263
00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:43,300
But this takes time and effort,

264
00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:46,120
right?
But it also fills your other cup.

265
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,900
This isn't going to be a crazy
long podcast, by the way.

266
00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:50,560
But it fills the other cup of just
the social side, right?

267
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:54,000
And potentially maybe you meet
some of them in person.

268
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,280
And you get along with them.

269
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:57,320
But it's people you can go to for

270
00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:57,900
help.

271
00:09:57,900 --> 00:10:00,060
And you're creating like little

272
00:10:00,060 --> 00:10:03,820
mini mentors on certain topics
because they're good at that and

273
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:04,320
they're good at this.

274
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,600
And it's just, I look around us

275
00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:08,620
and I see a divided world.

276
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,020
And I know you can see whatever

277
00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:11,960
world you want.

278
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,560
So I get that.

279
00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:14,040
And I do.

280
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,060
I always see the positive in

281
00:10:15,060 --> 00:10:15,300
things.

282
00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:16,960
I really, really do.

283
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,580
The glass is always half full with
me.

284
00:10:19,580 --> 00:10:20,960
But I see people just taking
shortcuts.

285
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,000
not being as good as in
relationships, not being as good

286
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:23,820
as communicating things with
people.

287
00:10:23,820 --> 00:10:27,180
There's a lot of, just one sec,
this podcast brought to you by

288
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:27,920
Mocha.

289
00:10:28,020 --> 00:10:28,700
Yeah, that's right.

290
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:29,400
I would Mocha right now.

291
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:30,800
Yeah, one pump.

292
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:31,140
That's it.

293
00:10:31,140 --> 00:10:31,540
Too sweet.

294
00:10:31,540 --> 00:10:33,420
But I see this world where like
the communication skills, even

295
00:10:33,420 --> 00:10:34,320
with mortgage brokers, it's
lacking.

296
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,440
And I'm just talking about
mortgage brokers.

297
00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,120
It's really every industry, an
adult, but there are people coming

298
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:42,800
up right now in the industry or
still been there that can't string

299
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,000
together a couple sentences.

300
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,340
And why do you think that is?

301
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:48,220
Well, it's because they're sitting
at home consuming content and

302
00:10:48,220 --> 00:10:50,960
stuff and not using apps to bring
things to their door and they're

303
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:54,700
not going out and they're not
having like actual conversations

304
00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:56,260
with people.

305
00:10:56,260 --> 00:10:57,890
It's interesting.

306
00:10:57,890 --> 00:10:59,710
Toastmasters is a group you don't
know.

307
00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:00,750
It's about public speaking.

308
00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:02,870
It's a phenomenal group to go

309
00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:02,970
join.

310
00:11:02,970 --> 00:11:03,870
You getting good at articulating

311
00:11:03,950 --> 00:11:07,790
to people your value adds, why
they should work with you,

312
00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:10,650
overcoming objections they're
going to have, you knowing how to

313
00:11:10,650 --> 00:11:15,610
roll off your tongue, exactly why
they should use this product over

314
00:11:15,610 --> 00:11:18,930
that product or this strategy or
that strategy.

315
00:11:18,930 --> 00:11:20,850
Some people have the gift.

316
00:11:20,850 --> 00:11:21,170
Others don't.

317
00:11:21,170 --> 00:11:21,870
Most people don't.

318
00:11:21,870 --> 00:11:24,870
So you, this is a skill you have

319
00:11:24,870 --> 00:11:25,670
to work on.

320
00:11:25,670 --> 00:11:27,410
And so if you're not putting

321
00:11:27,410 --> 00:11:30,110
yourself in social situations
where you're doing webinars and

322
00:11:30,110 --> 00:11:32,070
presentations and presenting to
groups and constantly in helping

323
00:11:32,490 --> 00:11:36,230
other people and chatting with
them about their business and how

324
00:11:36,230 --> 00:11:39,270
you can help them and how they can
help you and like role -playing a

325
00:11:39,270 --> 00:11:39,830
different scenario.

326
00:11:39,830 --> 00:11:42,170
Like if you're not doing that, you

327
00:11:42,170 --> 00:11:46,440
have to go create it because
otherwise you're just going to

328
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:46,860
slowly wither away.

329
00:11:46,860 --> 00:11:49,600
Your skill set, whatever it is,

330
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,760
those soft sales skills will just
wither away.

331
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:55,140
They'll deteriorate over time.

332
00:11:55,140 --> 00:11:57,100
It's like an exercise you have to

333
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:59,020
work on all the time.

334
00:11:59,020 --> 00:12:00,380
And I'm seeing it.

335
00:12:00,380 --> 00:12:03,040
I get so much access to brokers
and the conversations.

336
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:07,200
And I can tell you right now, the
quality of brokers that I see now

337
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:10,160
versus four or five years ago,
it's far less.

338
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:13,180
And a lot of it comes down to I
don't see a lot of happiness.

339
00:12:13,180 --> 00:12:14,380
Man, this is like a doomsday
thing.

340
00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:16,260
It's really not.

341
00:12:16,260 --> 00:12:17,860
It's really not.

342
00:12:17,860 --> 00:12:22,180
Because I've chose to surround
myself with awesome people.

343
00:12:22,180 --> 00:12:23,820
And I don't let unawesome people
in.

344
00:12:23,820 --> 00:12:25,620
And if I do, I quickly correct and
I get them out.

345
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:28,080
Because you're never going to get
it right all the time.

346
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,260
So I have to protect my happiness.

347
00:12:29,260 --> 00:12:30,620
I have to protect the club, who

348
00:12:30,620 --> 00:12:32,680
gets in the club, my circle.

349
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:37,150
And so right now, I'm in a really

350
00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:42,310
good spot because I'm surrounding
myself with a lot of really good

351
00:12:42,310 --> 00:12:43,090
people.

352
00:12:43,090 --> 00:12:45,190
who are just, they're my people.

353
00:12:45,190 --> 00:12:46,130
They're doing things the right
way.

354
00:12:46,130 --> 00:12:51,010
And so plus, because we get to
have deeper conversations on

355
00:12:51,010 --> 00:12:55,670
things and more conversations and
our care level is up through the

356
00:12:55,670 --> 00:12:59,070
roof, we're also just naturally
working on soft skills.

357
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:02,610
Those soft skills are how to
present yourself to your end

358
00:13:02,610 --> 00:13:04,760
client or referral partner.

359
00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,700
And so I see a lot through all the

360
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:11,440
training I'm doing, I see a lot of
brokers who can't clearly

361
00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:11,700
articulate.

362
00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:14,000
why someone should work with them.

363
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:14,700
That's a problem.

364
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:16,080
That's a big fucking problem.

365
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:20,460
Why should I work with you for a
20 basis point premium?

366
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:23,400
If you can't roll off your tongue,
why someone should be able to?

367
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,320
And maybe you have four or five
questions you ask first and then

368
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:26,260
you get in there.

369
00:13:26,260 --> 00:13:27,800
If you can't do that, you've got a

370
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:28,120
problem.

371
00:13:28,300 --> 00:13:30,060
You're already up against it.

372
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,680
So instead of you trying to go
figure other shit out, try to

373
00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:35,720
figure out why a client Wouldn't
want to work with you.

374
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,260
Why a referral partner wouldn't
want to work with you.

375
00:13:38,260 --> 00:13:40,980
I can't give you the keys to that.

376
00:13:40,980 --> 00:13:42,260
It's different for everybody.

377
00:13:42,260 --> 00:13:45,820
But I can point you in a direction
and go, you should use that,

378
00:13:45,820 --> 00:13:48,300
right?
Instead of ordering the food in

379
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,400
because it's convenient, maybe you
go out and eat and maybe you talk

380
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:57,700
to the table next to you and maybe
you talk to the person in line and

381
00:13:57,980 --> 00:14:03,230
maybe you talk to the server and
maybe you just like, right?

382
00:14:03,230 --> 00:14:05,710
And this is where I'm going.

383
00:14:05,710 --> 00:14:07,970
Maybe you just socialize a little

384
00:14:07,970 --> 00:14:10,370
more when you're out.

385
00:14:10,370 --> 00:14:11,590
And about maybe you put yourself

386
00:14:11,590 --> 00:14:15,250
out there a little more because
there's this massive ripple effect

387
00:14:16,150 --> 00:14:19,730
of stuff and you putting yourself
out there on social media.

388
00:14:19,730 --> 00:14:20,010
Sure.

389
00:14:20,010 --> 00:14:20,130
Great.

390
00:14:20,130 --> 00:14:21,730
But you're still kind of masking
it, right?

391
00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:22,090
It's controlled.

392
00:14:22,090 --> 00:14:22,430
It's recorded.

393
00:14:22,690 --> 00:14:23,250
It's edited.

394
00:14:23,250 --> 00:14:24,990
Are you truly getting the right

395
00:14:24,990 --> 00:14:26,630
person out there?
Like, are you putting yourself out

396
00:14:26,630 --> 00:14:27,290
there?
A lot of you aren't.

397
00:14:27,290 --> 00:14:28,790
But are you happier because you're
on there?

398
00:14:28,790 --> 00:14:29,970
Most of us aren't.

399
00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:31,340
You're just doing it because you

400
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,020
were told to do it.

401
00:14:33,020 --> 00:14:34,620
And you're like, oh yeah, I guess

402
00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:35,020
it works.

403
00:14:35,020 --> 00:14:35,740
But you're not happier.

404
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,280
So how do you become happier and
have a better business?

405
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:39,860
Well, it starts with having more
conversations with people.

406
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:45,960
And the more conversations you can
have, the better you'll get at

407
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,440
your craft and your art, your soft
skills.

408
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,220
And the more you'll find the
people who are your people.

409
00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:50,160
And then you start building your
network.

410
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,780
which in turn increases your net
worth, which in turn increases

411
00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:53,100
your happiness.

412
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,500
Maybe in that order, but maybe in

413
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:56,260
the other order.

414
00:14:56,260 --> 00:14:57,940
You get what I'm saying?

415
00:14:57,940 --> 00:15:01,740
So we're being pushed into this
spot as a society where everyone

416
00:15:01,740 --> 00:15:05,020
wants you to just live on your
phone and a computer.

417
00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:07,740
wants you to just live on your
phone and a computer.

418
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:11,380
And it's so bonkers.

419
00:15:11,380 --> 00:15:13,240
And unless you sit back and

420
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,320
actually realize it before you
know it.

421
00:15:15,620 --> 00:15:19,260
You're going to be a grumpy 40
-year -old mortgage broker

422
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:20,820
grinding away, making $180 ,000,
working in your office in the

423
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:23,920
basement, hating compliance
documents and down payment

424
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,100
documents and being 20 pounds
overweight and not understanding

425
00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:26,980
how the fuck you got there.

426
00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:27,880
Like this was the path you were

427
00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:28,100
always on.

428
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:28,460
So it's interesting.

429
00:15:28,460 --> 00:15:30,900
You go to some of these
conferences.

430
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:34,280
You know, if you've listened to
this, whoever hates conferences,

431
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,880
I'm not going to debate that.

432
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:38,720
They're for everyone.

433
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:39,920
One second.

434
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,880
This podcast is brought to you by

435
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:42,100
Mocha.

436
00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:42,320
Okay.

437
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:43,680
But you go to these conferences.

438
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:45,860
And I'm not saying the conferences

439
00:15:45,860 --> 00:15:46,940
are the social circles.

440
00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:49,480
It could be, but those are like

441
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:50,820
one -offs here and there.

442
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:53,040
I'm talking about like the daily

443
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:53,360
things.

444
00:15:53,580 --> 00:15:56,180
I'm not saying, hey, I'm going to

445
00:15:56,180 --> 00:15:59,260
go sign up to five conferences a
year, four conferences a year.

446
00:15:59,260 --> 00:16:00,900
Shit, that's a lot.

447
00:16:00,900 --> 00:16:02,560
That's a big commitment.

448
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:08,520
A lot of them are two, three days.

449
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:09,740
A lot of them you don't learn fuck

450
00:16:09,740 --> 00:16:09,840
all.

451
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:09,080
A lot of them you're traveling,

452
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:09,220
hotel.

453
00:16:09,220 --> 00:16:12,160
Like you're just like, ah, it's

454
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:13,360
like so much.

455
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,500
And you come back and you're like,

456
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:18,720
I don't know if that was the best
use of my time.

457
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:22,420
I think that was just an excuse to
get away.

458
00:16:22,420 --> 00:16:24,680
That's what it was.

459
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:25,440
But another conversation.

460
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:31,360
I'm not convinced that's what gets
you into your happy place, right?

461
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:36,780
It's like, what can you do daily
and weekly to build a tribe, to

462
00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:40,060
build a community of people who
are on the same journey?

463
00:16:40,060 --> 00:16:41,160
And it could be a health journey.

464
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,280
It could be financial literacy

465
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:43,500
journey.

466
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:45,760
It could be entrepreneur journey.

467
00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:47,320
It could build a mortgage broker
journey.

468
00:16:47,460 --> 00:16:50,200
Whatever the journey is, who are
your people?

469
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:54,140
Where's the community, right?
I've been saying this for many

470
00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:57,010
years, but you go to these
mortgage conferences, and I'll be

471
00:16:57,010 --> 00:16:59,090
honest, our industry, if you're
just looking at the health factor

472
00:16:59,090 --> 00:16:59,930
and the happiness factor, it's
low.

473
00:16:59,930 --> 00:17:02,430
Most mortgage brokers are either
A, not super happy, a little

474
00:17:02,430 --> 00:17:03,310
grumpy, pessimistic, and out of
shape.

475
00:17:03,310 --> 00:17:05,250
There's the laundry list of stuff.

476
00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:07,349
And it's a product of... A lot of

477
00:17:07,349 --> 00:17:09,170
it is the business we're in and
the business model you have.

478
00:17:09,170 --> 00:17:10,250
But it also doesn't have to be
that way.

479
00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:11,849
Obviously, the priorities aren't
right if that's the case.

480
00:17:11,849 --> 00:17:15,790
But it's really hard to get out of
that cycle when you're at home in

481
00:17:15,790 --> 00:17:17,310
your office and you're isolated
and you're doing your things and

482
00:17:17,310 --> 00:17:19,770
you go in your apps and you go in
your social and you go, right?

483
00:17:19,770 --> 00:17:21,130
Being pushed into a corner.

484
00:17:21,130 --> 00:17:22,829
backed into a corner essentially

485
00:17:23,349 --> 00:17:28,569
and then told to go hey go build
this business and talk to a bunch

486
00:17:28,690 --> 00:17:31,850
of people you're like i don't know
mortgage broker don't know how to

487
00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:35,990
talk to people i don't want to
talk to people like are you those

488
00:17:35,990 --> 00:17:39,910
people when you take the train or
you take whatever you're staying

489
00:17:40,170 --> 00:17:44,470
line someone you'd rather just not
talk to anyone at all or are you

490
00:17:44,470 --> 00:17:51,970
the person that you're on a plane
and you sit beside them and you

491
00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:53,830
start a conversation you see if
there's commonality and if so you

492
00:17:53,830 --> 00:17:58,770
go deep and if not you shut her
down I read this story way back

493
00:17:58,770 --> 00:18:04,790
when, and it was about this one
guy who couldn't afford first

494
00:18:04,790 --> 00:18:10,150
class tickets, but he always
upgraded to first class because

495
00:18:11,130 --> 00:18:16,770
the quality of people there that
he met business -wise, like acumen

496
00:18:16,770 --> 00:18:20,000
-wise about how successful they
were, was far better than coach.

497
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:24,180
And he got to have these
conversations and he blew up his

498
00:18:24,180 --> 00:18:26,440
business with investors he met
from flying first class, just

499
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:27,380
doing his regular traveling.

500
00:18:27,380 --> 00:18:30,300
Because he forced his way into a

501
00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:33,580
network and then put himself out
there to have these conversations,

502
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:35,380
right?
So how do you come up with that

503
00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:36,800
version of that for you, right?
That dinner club, right?

504
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:40,120
Imagine if you had 10 people who
were entrepreneurs, who A, were a

505
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,350
good time to hang out with.

506
00:18:42,350 --> 00:18:43,810
B, moral compass was set right.

507
00:18:43,810 --> 00:18:45,530
C, made a commitment to meet once
every three months.

508
00:18:45,530 --> 00:18:49,350
That starts, and you're seen as
the person I put together.

509
00:18:49,350 --> 00:18:53,790
And then that starts blowing up
and turning into a bunch of other

510
00:18:53,790 --> 00:18:53,930
stuff.

511
00:18:53,930 --> 00:18:55,290
Because other people will want to

512
00:18:55,290 --> 00:18:58,050
come and then they get an invite
from someone there and it slowly

513
00:18:58,050 --> 00:18:58,750
grows and builds.

514
00:18:58,750 --> 00:19:00,170
And you're seen as the, you know,

515
00:19:00,170 --> 00:19:01,290
the master of it all.

516
00:19:01,290 --> 00:19:01,530
Right.

517
00:19:01,530 --> 00:19:05,010
So I just want to put this out
there because I know a lot of you

518
00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:07,830
might be thinking this or you
might be like, Ryan, you're out to

519
00:19:07,830 --> 00:19:08,410
lunch, which is cool.

520
00:19:08,410 --> 00:19:11,290
I am out to lunch a bunch of

521
00:19:11,290 --> 00:19:11,590
times.

522
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:13,710
You might be like, yeah, Ryan,

523
00:19:13,710 --> 00:19:14,050
good point.

524
00:19:14,050 --> 00:19:15,030
Yeah, I get it.

525
00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:17,930
So now what do I do?
I don't know.

526
00:19:17,930 --> 00:19:20,150
I don't know the answer.

527
00:19:20,150 --> 00:19:23,590
But I do know community is the

528
00:19:23,590 --> 00:19:23,970
answer.

529
00:19:23,970 --> 00:19:26,350
You coming up with your version of

530
00:19:26,350 --> 00:19:26,950
community.

531
00:19:26,950 --> 00:19:27,190
Okay.

532
00:19:27,190 --> 00:19:28,150
So my version of community.

533
00:19:28,150 --> 00:19:31,430
is I thought it was going to be a

534
00:19:31,430 --> 00:19:31,950
Facebook group.

535
00:19:31,950 --> 00:19:34,130
No, hell no. Because I don't like

536
00:19:34,270 --> 00:19:35,290
when people can hide behind
keyboards.

537
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,920
I like to see you.

538
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:39,040
I like to hear.

539
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:40,140
I like to ask you questions.

540
00:19:40,140 --> 00:19:42,800
I want to know how that thing went

541
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:43,300
on the weekend.

542
00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:47,040
I want to know what you and your

543
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,460
significant other did and why you
didn't do that.

544
00:19:49,460 --> 00:19:54,140
And what'd you think of that?
I want to know how you got that

545
00:19:54,140 --> 00:19:55,360
lead from the realtor.

546
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,320
What did you say?

547
00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:59,360
What did they say?
Why have they sent you other ones?

548
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:00,880
Why was this lead better than the
others?

549
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,580
Did you do your follow up?
Did you like that's and I get to

550
00:20:03,580 --> 00:20:05,780
have those conversations every
single freaking day on the team.

551
00:20:05,780 --> 00:20:06,520
And that's what I love.

552
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:07,200
And that's my community.

553
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:07,840
So very cool.

554
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,760
It was just I wanted to start this

555
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:11,640
because I'm a happier person
because of that.

556
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:15,180
And that was something I did not
plan, did not even think about, to

557
00:20:15,180 --> 00:20:17,000
be honest, but it's happening live
in front.

558
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:17,780
So that's it, kids.

559
00:20:17,780 --> 00:20:18,380
Hopefully you got something from

560
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:18,540
that.

561
00:20:18,540 --> 00:20:19,000
Until next time.

562
00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:19,360
Peace out.